I was laying in bed and couldn't sleep with worries on my mind. I did not want to have them and thought what a bad use of my mind this was. I thought what if I could be happy right now with what is going on? It felt kind of profound to me. Like how about at this moment, I decided I could be happy anyway rather than concerned?

It took me to a whole new slew of ideas. I thought of how we move from one thing to the other and even though things are really good, we concern about the next set of issues. Even with this moments issues, when is the moment to be happy? How long do I say now and rest? We usually only give ourselves a few moments for that true happy feeling then we are off to the next task. I felt good considering all the things I had to be happy for but was I really FEELING it? Really feeling that feeling down to my toes and nothing else? I took the moment to really do that! And how wonderful it is! To then spin out or extend on it so my body could be cozy fully with the happy feeling.

It transformed for in the moment and even now as I write,  I feel really happy and can i hold it? Hold it longer than a moment?  I could even keep coming back to it and allow it to be how I live? I live with many great moments each day and  do savor them but do I savor enough? Do I really feel happy? And if I don't am I really thinking this or that will get me to happiness rather than being there now?  Or is it that I am already where I could be happy right now? 

The mind wants to continually pull us out to this or that. The world situation or what someone said or if that doesn't work, whats my back up? Or how can I pull this off or what will I do tomorrow to get me to this or that? It is endless and I really feel in this moment, I am missing a whole lot of joy. Why can't I be happy right now? My mind could say well you have to figure this out. Or thats great for this moment but how about next week or what about expanding in your new community? It is like it creates problems or issues that aren't even there yet. Thinking ahead to prevent problems. I thought what a dramatic way to live! Always concerned for the next moment and the disaster that could befall so I will figure it out.

Suddenly tonight I thought, that is not a good plan. It would probably be a good question to ask myself daily and even throughout my day. What if I could be happy right now? I would relax. I would just quietly revel and enjoy the moment and perhaps even find things rolling smoother for myself. I wouldn't be prethinking through things in the same frequency if I was in the joy of the moment. I wouldn't worry as much for I would be busy appreciating what was. Counting the blessings. Daydreaming the good that could come or that I desired. It would be a whole different use of my mind.

As I layed there thinking about how happy I was in this moment with whatever problems or issues I have, a smile came through, a deep one. I decided to let anything that could take up my mind be let go and just be happy for all that was right now. It transformed my energy. It balanced me. It quieted me. It allowed me to call the day complete. It inspired me enough to get up and write about it. A deep smile inside from the innermost core of my being. Just happy for what is.

I hope to take this idea forward into the many tomorrows I have. When a worry or an idea of what to do next comes in just stop and say, yea but can I be happy anyway right now? Can I shift my energy to be happy even if that is? Can I settle myself into that quiet joy and let it go for a minute and focus on how happy I am? It brought in such a flavor of goodness and optimism about everything. I exhaled so deep. It took  away that vigilant part of me ready to solve and manage. it was a truly relaxing calm.

I thought I would share this with you for we all could ask that. There are many things we can attach to and be concerned or feel like we need to do something about. In fact our whole life could be one big slew of things, one after the other. I am not saying deny your feelings but definitely put them in perspective. Everything is not a dire emergency to get all riled up about. IN fact most things are not and we are just so wound in adrenal stress with the world state that we are going overboard! Try stopping for a moment and  be happy anyway and with whatever it is. Check it out!?  In that state, whatever we have an issue with is more likely to open the creative field to solve with out the incessant thinking. Just stoping the loop and settling the being, and being happy anyway. For most of the things will never occur. We can't think through every thing that could occur. We can appreciate all that occurs and then have a lot more happiness as we go through. 

Maybe this isn't as profound for you as for me. But tonight, I am going to be happy despite my concerns. I am going to feel the goodness for the 99% of the things handled, on track, in alignment and going well. I will just put off that 1% for a time. Really end my day with big enjoyment and maybe tomorrow when I wake up any issues will resolve of themselves. I think that is the way of magnetism. I win at it some times but I think I will go for winning at it more. Being happy with what is,  (acceptance), smoothly allows me to move in flow. In flow a whole new set of circumstances can come in just because I am in that appreciative more than that preparatory mode. We hear this all the time and now I will live it one more layer deeper.

I will keep you posted. And for now, be happy no matter where you are in this moment. There is always something good if not many things going on. Let the mind take a break from vigilance and allow the body to rest in goodness. It will thank you and you may find, the things solve without the vigilance. It sure feels good so I am going to ride it. 

Love and blessings as we ride through these very odd times.

When I went out west so long ago, I purchased this stone image above in ceramics and it always resonated with me. In todays world, belonging, acceptance and cohesiveness is up for review. I have had a life journey of this and much of the judgement, exclusivity and ousting people from the group resonates deeply for me. I have always wanted to be open and accepting of others for I felt the not belonging in many areas of my life. I feel it has been a purpose to understand others and even if they believed different than me, to look for common ground even if it is small. Some of us learn this in family and we learn to connect against all odds of difference. 

Some you just won't find that thread and that is ok as well. I never felt it was ok to judge but discern, by saying inwardly,  "we are not on the same wave". I can open often  to not call it wrong but just not aligned to me.  I want to believe and be me, so I can allow others to be them in their ways. This is not easy and does take practice and feeling through my emotions to find that openness and clarity.

 I can say, for me, it is a survival mental pattern. If I don't belong, if I don't resonate with others or adjust, I will not survive. Often love or any thing we need was not available if we did not conform. I never understood this but it is very much in our humanity. All of us are divine, so it seemed unkind to not allow others to be what they are if I wanted to be what and who I am. I have had learning in this loop deeper and deeper through life. I think humanity has as well.  Are we going to get along and unite or are we going to fight?

Right now with the split in things as it is, I have reached in deeper to understand this thread of belonging in me and others. In reflection, I have realized that as I complete this loop in me, I can be part of creating  a new way. I can honor another's path without shifting mine. Many times, I was quiet or conformed to be liked or allowed in a circle for acceptance. Now I realize, if I just accept me and love me, the desire to belong is not so outside as it is an inside job. Love doesn't require alignment. It requires acceptance of all that is. 

Like nature accepts all the creatures and processes going on at once, I too, can accept all creatures and beliefs as her.  I don't have to agree or align, I can just move to areas more coherent to me and allow the others to be in their own coherence. This way I feel peaceful, I discern where I feel safe and move to that zone. I let others have their safe place too. Some live in the desert, others in the mountains and yet others at the beach. We all belong or we would not be here, alive at once. When I get triggered by another's belief or ideas, I just breath and allow the old loops to complete. Into the earth not up to my head to create a story or a mental loop of againstness. I find this to be very centering and peaceful. It is a chance for me to notice I have ancestral survival patterns inside that are ready to release back into the earth that holds it all. 

As I am ending a long journey of being on the rode and feeling for that area I resonant with and can belong in all my wholeness, I have learned a lot about belonging. Most of it is an inside job. I sense and feel where on earth, in this case, in NC, I feel the most stable and alive. I didn't listen to my mind of where is the most people to connect with or do my business. I allowed each area of the earth I went to, to speak to me in feeling and resonance. It was very different than how I went to Colorado. I went there for my daughter and it was a very logical outward choice. For this next chapter, I did it differently. 

I am going to live for a bit in the mountains around Ashville, a place I did not expect to go. I was considering closer to family, a different environment than mountains as I already did the great continental divide in Colorado. But in going about the different areas, there I felt an exhale and a great connection to lush beauty. It unfolded I knew people there, met others through connections and followed the breadcrumbs so to speak. However, the true test was how I felt there. I felt home like bucks county with winding roads and lush waters. 

How do I tie this into our current world? Well, I will be expanding to find my community and belonging there. I will open to new opportunities of people that I have never met and am really not sure I will find resonance. Many would say that being an open thinker and into the healing arts that makes sense. I just didn't want to go to an area where grief was prevalent from the flood a bit back.  However, grief is everywhere these days. As a farmer, the lush mountains called and I felt resonate within. I am sure as when I was in Colorado, I will find many others that don't resonate with me. I don't need to be concerned, for it is that way everywhere too. As I whole my resonance and values, I will find those through shear attraction. 

We are in a time with lots of judgment and exclusion that I really don't want to be part of. I don't believe in the ideology of our leaders on any side so rather than concern myself with that, something out of my circle of influence at this time, I will focus on what I can influence and engage in those that are resonant to my principles where ever I am. I do not think it is cut and dry as many are calling it. I think it is individual and the more I align my values to this changing world, the more I will draw experiences and people that hold that some resonance. 

We live in a harmonic field that has all the notes in it. As I find harmony and acceptance within, I will find that same harmonic outside me. I think we all could take a minute to find that peace and harmony within so all our worlds can be more naturally balanced. Our humanity is all the notes of the scale. Yet certain notes sound harmonious as others create discord. Knowing your harmony and rhythm will naturally bring you to a song that sings rather than one that is off key. These things make sense to me and that is all I am balancing for.

Belonging is important to us all. We need to find that for ourselves and as for me, instead of seeing the discord and calling it out, it feels better to keep looking for the harmonic. That is how I have taken this journey for a new home and it has flow. It seems to have served me in a discordant world. I will know when I get there and root in. I do feel the excitement of that expansion and find focusing on how I am adding to that harmonic in business, in friendship and in myself, I feel peace while there is craziness around. We only control ourselves and our contribution. The rest of nature is doing it's thing. We either harmonize and add our own note or we express discord. For some discord may be their purpose. For me I want to belong and feel the joy of that. I can only know my mission and do that and let others do theirs. 

So I offer those who do want to belong, to first realize your survival patterns that are deep in us all. We will survive and our ancestors had far more hardship than us. It has been proven through the generations and it is time to complete that loop. Sense your center and what you feel and seek those places to belong and feel safe. Safety for most of us is an inside job. Then add into that by contributing safety, harmony and connection. Some places just feel better than others for each of us. Seek those places and build. Building harmonic communities and allowing others to do what they are doing is far more powerful to me than fighting against anything. it is just my learning at this time so I share what is working for me and bringing joy, alignment, flow and peace.

For as I can clear the resistance and unsettled in me, I can resonant out peace and belonging so others can feel it. Songs do it, nature does it and so will we as humanity. I believe we will find a way that all the notes can find their place in harmony. Perhaps it wont happen fully in my lifetime but I can lay that ground work forward for the next generation. We all belong and we are just learning to create a system that allows all to be here in peace and collaboration. 

Much love on your journey! 

So I have been on the road now going on 5 months and will root in October in the mountains of NC. It has been such a journey of learning to flow. To not be grounded in my own place or in the beginning even know where that place would be, creates anxiety naturally. I could live in this adrenal stress and miss all the fun of this mystery.  We all live in far too much adrenal stress. Our body thinks we are in emergency when we are not. Being on the road this could amp up. Flowing and adapting to so many places and others has a bit of high alert. I wanted to reduce, relieve and clear that for I am not in danger. There has been fun at every turn.

In noticing this, not wanting to let this state run me, I have learned so much.  I have food, shelter and lovely people and experiences where ever I land. So it is not real to be in this anxiety. Our pattern of waiting for the other shoe to drop is deeply embedded in our body for many. Especially empaths, projectors in human design and woman. Safety is a luxury to our body and a healer. Even when we are safe, we don't really feel it to the core of full relax. This  has been my noticing and practice my whole journey. Really tapping into my body,  my emotional states, my mind to keep bringing me back to the joy and presence of where I am in that moment. We need to update this  safety in our body. 

In these conditions of travel, it is even harder with the uncertainty yet a good way to know if practices really work. I have gotten to states of relax and trust beyond any other time in my life. It feels so luxurious, a child like delight and a trusting vibe that produces what seems like magic. I have been in deep tears and fears, felt sad and all the other emotions too so this isn't just about fluff. It is the power to notice, release and relax that is the magic. The deep breathes and flowing feeling in the body my only tools. Nature too as I always find presence there and have deepened that. We can be in nature and still be clutched and thinking panic. It will soothe us deeper with the intention of  awareness and presence.

"Am I safe in this moment?" is a great question. Our mind makes up stories projecting forward that most will never come true. I have learned to abandon my mind unless doing business or an organizational tasks.I let it be the background sound. My mind was and defaults to overactive and my head clogged from too much fire, electricity or thinking. It doesn't allow energy to circulate through the body and these create burn out, clog and, over time, illness. I have a glaucoma eye that is softening so I know this overthinking, analytical thing well.

We are in a time where many are learning to embody this energy fully down to our toes. This electricity, spirit, God, fire of life is wanting to be more grounded in our physical being. Bringing down the minds ideas to feel and express and act or letting it circle on out if it is  not  needed. As I have learned the magic of our body in relaxed states, used properly, things needed magically are orchestrated, not thought into existence. We have been trained to think all into being and not included all our other parts of ourselves, like our energy body or the larger world we are connected too and creating in. It is not inert matter. It is a flowing life stream already doing its thing.  Our ideas are only the beginning  and why so many techniques don't work.  We are all students in this life force, learning to work with it.

Embodiment is allowing the flow of fire into your body. There are many systems, ayervedic, chinese medicine, yoga, qigong, nuerology, trying to explain to us how to truly ride in this body and be in full control. Not run by the mind, emotions, physical patterns or sensations but by our will of spirit. It is a new time for this and it has never been done as a collective in this current world condition. I feel as we do this, realizing we are using the earth forces to bring in our wonder, we will create a new world. Now we are operating outside the body mostly run by old patterns of human survival and existing like a whirlwind. Sometimes in charge, other times running old currents for years. Now we can really start to create intentionally and fully. It begins by being fully in the body deep down, the life stream flowing. 

Truly , this way to live that has so much more fun in it. It involves big trust that life supports you fully. We have not experienced that as young children so we go through that process of unwinding the old for this new frequency and trust.  For me, when my triggers come and it is always safety for me on some level, I allow them to pass saying, " I am completing this old spiral of energy." We have stuck experiences in our very cells. The triggers support us to notice and release. It is a good thing to sense that survival or fearful way. Breathing through it, allowing tears but with the idea of the witness of you knowing it is not happening now. It just feels like it is. You are now an adult and can reason or get out of the situation. You don't need to respond helplessly as a child with no wisdom or reacting with no awareness. I so often notice how many old fears are continually running us and it is not now. If we unconsciously operate as we have from them, we will just repeat the very things we are trying to transmute and grow from. 

I have learned life is richer when you notice, allow to feel and release right then and get back on balance. This unwinding has gotten my experience of life so much more rich and sensual. Colors are brighter, joy is richer, all experiences so much fully without the extreme survival tension holding me back. It is a process and I imagine I will go through it my whole life but I get the process now and don't need to be lost in the glitch of repeat. Our body is such a friend and shows us the way when we honor its talking rather than treat or fix it. Those are purposeful but in the future we will not heal in the way we do now. Maybe it will take 100 years but it is moving out. 

Anxiety to flow is the best way I can say it. I notice, I feel, I let the old complete and then energetically all releases for me down into the earth. Then a well of water, of nourishment arises and I feel so much better. Lighter, gigglier and more alive. I have unlayered so may tensions. Deeper and more keep showing up but I know the process, I feel the lightness. and it is quite fun after a bit. It is a youinverse. What we see outside is truly a product of our inside hidden depths. As we address in lightness and release, the inside feels clearer and  the world does the same. It is really quite magical. 

If you need support or any other chat on this please reach out. I learn so I can share and I feel so alive these days even without my home. It is found and now the logistics will play out in timing but I found how to manage anyway in full pleasure, joy and fun as I was homeless and searching. This is a feat I am so proud of and I learned so much about me, my body and how to surf the unknown. I am sure it came to me so I could share and help others learn resonance, balance and lightness. It is a magical world when you get into the flow. Water is the healer, the teacher of mechanics and world we live in. Flow indeed is far more fun than trapped fire of anxiety. Blessings to all!