We all have different lessons to learn while we are here. One of my lessons is in belonging. Others may not have this lesson so I am writing for those who need to hear this. To feel like you don't belong is like being cut off from the field. You feel you have to do something to fit in, contribute, make impact. Not that these things are not valuable but to share or express so you can belong vs share and express because you have value are two different starting points. 

If you ever felt you didn't belong, you may have this lesson. What come to me today was that we belong or we wouldn't be here. I already belong. I am here, alive, participating and part of the field so to speak. I don't need to earn anything, I am already here so I must belong here. Here doesn't even matter where that is, for you already belong. 

When you had the black sheep role or perceived that role, it was a feeling of not belonging. So you felt you had to morph or perform or shift yourself so you could belong. Then your actions were of proving your worth so you could feel you fit in. It is a subtle thinking. It is very nuanced. To fit in I must..... fill in the blank. What a survival position to begin from! Wow! It makes us have to perform for belonging rather than be and already belong because we are there. 

Maybe you can't resonate with this for you don't have this lesson. If it does, I hope you see this shift. If we don't feel we belong, we will morph ourselves into what we think will belong. That is a lot of work to be the round peg in a square hole. Instead we could think I am here so I must belong so what can I add or express coming from I belong here? Not I don't belong and I better do this or that to belong and then add. That is  a lot of steps! It requires reading the field, knowing what is appropriate, finding a way to do something that adds value and be part of it. 

If you decide you belong already and you are there for a reason, you already have value then offer something, you are coming from a place of authenticity and value. It is a simple shift and it can change everything. I belong by just already being here. I am connected to all that is because I am here. No proving, nor fitting in, just because I am here. I think our training has been that we better add value or we won't belong. How about we add value just by being? That washes so many patterns away. 

Your field begins with an inclusive sense rather than an outsider sense. The inspiration to do comes from a whole different place. For many of us that are empaths or different than others in what ever way, as we all have our own different ways, we have misread the reason for this. It is to bring that different way, that different perspective to the table not to change ourselves to fit in. Whatever our thing that makes us feel like we don't belong is not real. It is some child like training you got that said be like this or you will be cast out or you won't be loved. It is a child like perception. Maybe the world you landed in, you were different and you're there to bring in that difference rather than hide it through conforming. When you were little you just thought I will model what I perceive as the way to be so I can survive. You misunderstood.

Now, as I sit in a new place and new everything, if I ask where I belong I will be motivated to find places that I think I belong in. If I say I am here now, I belong already for I am here now, what comes forward to do? It is subtle but it is very different energy that moves at a different pace and from a different startng point. I have built communities, created friends all looking to belong. Instead, I could just consider I belong and then see what shows up rather than seeking belonging. 

In seeking belonging, I come from the I don't belong yet so I have to find where I belong. Instead I belong, I add value already, where does that go? It is participating in all around me from a very different point of view. I will see what it brings. I belong here in the mountains of NC because I am here. So what stirs next? A very different question than where do I belong? Belonging is so huge in life. It is the juice of living. To feel recognized, seen, helpful, participating, it is a genuinely a wonder of being human. It is already here for we are here. We belong because we exist. We don't really have to seek that.

As I say I am here, I belong here so what do I want to do now? It comes from a whole different energy than seeking to belong. Do you see and feel that? It allows us to express, to participate in belonging than to look for belonging. This is a huge shift for me to see this subtly in my thinking. It transforms how I expand here where I belong in NC. I don't look for belonging. I look to express my belonging or because I belong. I get to exhale. I belong so how do I want to express here? There is no urgency or need anymore. There is a restful moment of grace and then allowing the answer to "how do I want to participate that is me adding me because I belong." 

Life is filled with these simple ideas that take time to really see the network of weird ideas we gathered as children and were trained to believe for survival. As a child, if you are not approved of, you will not get cared for or only partially loved. We saw through these survival eyes how to be. It is not the truth of it here. We were born so we belong. How and where we belong changes when we stop seeking to belong. Shifting ourselves to different groups and ideas so we fit in is not necessary. If we do that, we don't really fit in for we are not really being us. And a part of us knows that so it creates not belonging for your are shifting to belong so you don't belong there for your reasoning is off. The not belonging is showing us our reasoning, not that we don't belong.

Life is trippy. I am always learning more about how to ride this wonderful experience of life. Same days I get it, other days I am so innocently unaware of it. As we grow, we can unlock these silly ideas we have and change them to more accurate information about what is going on. For me today, it is about belonging, which is really got proving in it, and doing so your are seen or known or add something. What if my presence here without saying a word or doing an act is enough? Just being somewhere is enough to say I belong and I am participating.

For me this is a big "AHA". I already belong here. Now where would it be fun to add value? Where would it be fun to just be? Where do I feel most comfortable being me? Allowing this to sink in and see what comes forward from this angle vs where do I belong? How can I experience life from this perspective rather than the old one? I already belong. I am adding to the world just by being. I already effect things. I don't have to do anything more. If I get inspired I could do that but if I am not in this moment, just being is enough for all things to flow anyway. 

I will keep you posted on this revelation. It is very different than I saw before and the desire to belong. That desire is now fulfilled. I do belong. We will see what happens next!

We all have been in waiting, whether now or at another time in life. Waiting for something along the way. Often the fall, a letting go allows us to empty and there is a void in between the old leaving and the new being seen. As I am in a new home here in a new place, I am  integrating in a new community. It takes time to mingle in the right places, find the things that resonate, interact in a new world in a way that supports me. 

While there is many ways I can jump in, there is also a waiting for the things that will really inspire me. We are taught to act in full flow which is not always the right action or use of energy. We only have so much energy and we know focused intention has the most power. I look, listen and allow myself to digest all the noise to see exactly where to put my energy that will benefit me and others. It is a bit different than go everywhere, be everywhere to build. Maybe at one point in life that was the way of being. Right now, waiting, watching and seeing where I want to be is more powerful. When the world is so loud as now, listening can be the best ally.

You can't rush the flower to bloom. I learned that in my flower farming days. It is up to the plant, the conditions, the way of nature. We are part of that very process ourselves and the waiting can be alittle scary or feels like there is no movement. We forget that movement happens as well in stillness and incubation. It doesn't look like it on the outside but as the seed grows under the soil, life has moments of that too. When we don't know what to do, we often rush into action for we are taught action brings results. Sitting in the waiting, holding our trust as what we intend has time to unfold, can bring powerful results as well and we use our energy wisely.

I am learning how to do this in life more fully. I love to act, get involved and see results. I can also burnout through this strategy. I have been traveling quite a few months and now that I landed, I sense the quiet and stillness are often the way of action. I am creating a life and rhythm that really feels good and inspires me. In a new place, at a new moment in life, the waiting and stillness is part of knowing what is next. The quiet listen. At times it feels good. At others, I  feel the get going mind to come in. I exhale it out knowing the idea is put forth, the trust is often the waiting and the world accepts that offering and takes time to bring in the form. 

It is like sitting at the ocean. In comes the tide, it comes forward, then slowly ebbs back, holds for a minute and then the next wave comes in . This is the natural cycle of energy. I am observing this tide has flowed out and in that holding, we all experience as the next cycle of water will come. This is where trusting all of life is becoming, you too is the way. Trusting in the uncertainty as our world is a bit in upheaval, knowing the solutions come  in their own timing. We are not in control of it all, only ourselves and our part. That has a cycle also and it is ok to hold in the uncertainty. Something the mind is not so comfortable with. 

It is in these moments of waiting for the next cycle to turn, that savor, rest, stillness, renewal is the solution. Fill up with the good that is here, the good that has happened, the good that will show up. It is quiet and peaceful if we can let the mind do its thing without our listening. Like a background noise that is just used to running things. Our heart has the answers as well and it is a time to listen to that when we are waiting.  The channel from head to heart take a moment to align and connect.

It is when you love on yourself, do the gestures that renew and dream the goodness you wish to see. It is a time to honor all you have done, appreciate yourself and feel the goodness down to your toes. There is a harmony and rhythm to all creation and I am finding, if I allow myself to slow down and align with it, I get more filled and nourished. Especially when I don't know for sure how to move next. Often maybe the next move is to sit, savor, reflect and just enjoy the beautiful color of nature all around me. Savor your harvest. Enjoy all you brought forward this year during this harvest season. It is ok to slow down and renew. 

Despite my mind wanting to move and solve, I am riding the larger rhythm of the world, of my heart and of my body allowing  a little rest. Part of me wants to do but the body knows how to use energy. Listening to it and using the your energy wisely is a skill I am mastering.  It is important for health, wealth on all levels and true happiness. We have cycles and as I am learning to ride it more deeply and joyfully, we will see our next turn. It will show up and then we have full on power to act in focus and joy. 

Love to you all and enjoy the savoring magic and beauty of autumn! Slow down and listen. Who knows what possibilities and joy is in store. The mystery can be fun like looking at the night sky. It expands, you can't see it all, it sparkles and glows and you just savor knowing the next morning will come.

Here we are to one of the most spectacularly beautiful times of year. It inspires clearing as the leaves change and fall, slower paces as the dark descends, fun outdoor harvest events, the celebration of the a year of planting. We all feel the call to slow down and enjoy the beauty. I have found as I am at the start of the leaf change in NC, a stillness inside that is expanding. 

Most of us do not invite the stillness. We are so trained on production and activity that stillness is like sleeping. What I am finding as I flow with the presence and the seasons, a slow pace through the whole year is far more healthy. I can go and go and then drop from burnout. It has been a pattern my whole life. As I spiral my learning of this, I am seeing how it is far wiser and more efficient to be at a slower pace that sustains differently. Truly the breath, our leader and indicator of the rhythm that will support us well. 

We all know the natural cleansing of this time of year as we head into the inward winter cycle. It feels good to lighten up, clear out, purge and slow down. It still amazes me that from  all the learning on healing and health, water and breath are the two most important simple solutions to rhythm and flow. It is right under our nose, I have studied many systems and to realize in all of it, hydrate and breathe consciously bring the best pace and health. I inspire you in this magical pumpkin time of year, to visit how you use both in your life. 

Our pace is so hurried and the level of information we receive is overwhelming. When I watched kids in Colorado for a friend, what always got me was how the kids reacted after sustained computer activity. When they played games or were given computer time to play, it really was like taking a drug from an addict when they were done. They also expressed anger and frustration when time was up and really took a minute to reorient to playing outside or doing some other creativity. I don't know if we realize how much this techno world effects us. Not that it is bad but to see how balance and remembering to connect to the reality around us needs its space too. We are so tied to the technology and it often is dictating the pace. 

We all could be run by the outside that loudly grabs  our attention. That is the mess of fight or flight. The intensity of we have to do and be alert and be ready. As I have taken this journey to find a new home, never was I in such uncertainty. My breath was my ally to remember and calm down. The water of hydrating and remembering to flow the other solid thing that kept me sane and in calm. We don't realize how much the air we take in and the water we drink are the rhythm that runs our body. So simple and so profound that in all the things we do daily, these two matter most to our pace and fluidity, adaptability. It is a power trait in these times.  To be able to adjust and reorient so important. 

Even now on this Sunday morning, as the beautiful day unfolds, I feel the stillness of the mind so clear. It is something we all contend with, the mind chatter of what should be going on and the reality  of what is. To let that stillness seep in so the mind can rest and our body can recalibrate to the slower way. It offers joy and clarity in action as well as calm in the being. I inspire you to play with these to ride in a pace that works better for your body. Gone are the days where we can ignore the body and its signals. We now how illness will speak loud after not listening to it. All these ideas really add up to pace and inward listening that we have not been trained to use. 

The exhale so powerful. The rest after it so full of contentment. The hold after the inhale of all the potentiality available before we exhale. These pauses in the breath cycle truly where the field of opportunity, creativity and possibility live. And I have missed it most of my life. So busy moving and breathing shallowly thinking I would miss something if I didn't rush. That life would pass me by. When really so much of the joy in life is in those moments of pause or savor of the wonder I am around. Whether a conversation that has no timing or a sunset that warms my whole being. These are the pauses that regulate and sustain us. Play with them and see if you find a different pace to address life. Yes your mind and patterns will kick in but see if you can override them into more peace and calm.

I share as I learn what works for me. From the very beginning of learning the feminine arts, the oxybreath or breath of passion I learned always amazed me how I could shift into parasympathetic nervous system so easily and quickly. I could get the present chills in my body of oxytocin, all through a simple breath. It shocked me then the ease of it and still I find it the most basic tool that works the most for me. Noticing how I am in a state of movement or panic that feels not so good. A few simple breathes with the pleasure sound can reset me.  Yes we all know and have heard. Are we using this as fully as we could to embody a magical life?!

Enjoy the harvest season! Reach out if you need support to shift from anxiety to flowing in grace!

I feel very strongly about this topic as it seems the work of the hour for woman. Our world is so fast and we are trained to be running at top speed. There is no pill or support that will allow balance without some awareness and practices. Being in panic, fear, anxiety, even low level takes awareness to realize there is no emergency. Your body trained to be in one so your work to support it back to balance. Yes, there are wild yams to support hormones, SP adrenal supplements, and the thoughts listed above that will help but you too must do the noticing. 

As one who runs low level panic most of my life, I have been in a journey with this. After traveling for 5 months with no home and finding the place to land, adrenal stress could of run me. Fortunately, as I have written a book, learned from the feminine mysteries and shared with many woman's groups, there are solutions that require you to notice and then reset yourself. I do not know of any other way to get back to flow that doesn't require us to be aware of our state and then take actions to change it. Life is participatory. Erika and I created a class 20 Ways to Oxytocin Pleasure for that is what is needed. You are in charge of your state. 

Breathe, breathing is very important in this. I know we have all heard about breathing but it is paramount if you want to ride in the parasympathetic nervous system. Your breath pace is the indicator of what nervous system you will ride, fight or reset. It is really that simple. Practical too for it is an easy practice we can notice throughout our day. As I traveled and even as I was in a bit of fear in Colorado during shut down, breathe was my ally.  We all say we know that and write it off. I have found it is the most powerful practice besides hydrating with good water that will create health. Simple, practical, doable.

So much has changed for me and it continues too. I am in a new space, new community and I have to root in and find the spaces I belong. I am not as good at that as others for I lived mostly in Doylestown the majority of my life. I do know that being in fear, will not get me anywhere good. Not in state, not in finding my place, not in health. Therefore, this breathing and setting up my nervous system is important as I walk continually into new situations. The adrenals could be overactive so I work to bring calm clarity moment to moment.

Many offer supplements, cleanses. lots of ideas on how to clear the adrenals and get back to flow. If you don't have a practice of what is my state? Do I need to be in panic or rush? If not, how to I regulate back to flow and enjoyment? No additive will work fully, It is a behavior pattern of stress that has to be retrained. This is how I live and the breath matters. The inhale, considered the active space, the intent, the action, the production vector. The exhale is the release, the balance to action, the night to day. These two need to balance in our life and why moving slow is key to health. We have forgotten this release vector. Then, there is the pause after the exhale. This is the powerful space of fullness. Of all possibility and almost a rest as the next breath conjures up the action of inhale. 

The rest of fullness is the key power point in our breathing. It is the pregnant space where new ideas, the next action, the flow is ridden. Our world so set on this inhale vector, this production and  2/3 of the cycle is left out of whack. It is killing our bodies all because we don't value the exhale, the rest and the rejuvenation step. Breathing shallow and fast, halts and shortens the most powerful vectors of breathing.
I am not one who does breath work other than natural understanding of breathe as we flow through life. It is a basic yet powerful transmission that allows me to flow through it all.

I, too, continually learn more and mastery of this. The exhale, the pause is where mind will stop and relax. It is where you ground and connect with the larger field of life. I have been so trained in the production to fear even. If I am not moving in a direction, I am falling back. That is so untrue. If you want to work with the larger field, with the larger world, you are only a piece of it. You have to catch the rhythm happening and flow in it. You are not doing everything. You could address it that way, but then you are not working with the magic of all we are part of. We are to ride the wave, the larger field, to act when it is time, not before or after. That requires awareness and the breath the easiest, quickest way to align with this.

I have spent the last 5 months in movement, the inhale, the flex of being where ever I was as I sought out where to be. This was very unstabilizing in some ways and it was very teaching in how to find balance and grounding without a cocoon to go too. To me my own space so important and I had none really other than my awareness and breathe. Now that I landed, I am in the full exhale vector and sit in the rest. It is quite challenging as move was the order for months and now sit is the measure. To balance all the adjustment, grounding, settling, the exhale is being relearned for me. There is no hurry, rush or looking for stability. It is here so I now train my body to this new rhythm which at this moment, is heavy in sitting, grounding, not acting. We all know how challenging that can feel. We want to move but my body says let us reset and rest here. All possibility is available, let us sit in them before acting. The exhale and the rest between. 

Perhas this seems basic and simple yet that is how I see energy and offer it to you so you can be aware. This is basic and normal. We are fields of energy and the more responsible you can be for yourself and field, the less stress you will live with. We have let the outside world run us, we have been trained that way. With the outside world swirling, we learn to not swirl and choose where to jump into that swirl or we will get sick. We will burn out our adrenals which most have. This is some simple view on how to ride it differently. 

In math or the Codex terms by Robert Grant for those who want logic, life is a spiral creation. A triangle in movement. All is just geometry swirling and interacting. There is the x vector, production, action, doing. There is the y vector, receiving, resting, downloading, listening, clearing and the line that connects the two, the hold in opportunity. This is the balance point where the x and y are in zero point, this gives the direction. We are off in our action vector so our spiral wobbles. The inhale the x, the exhale the y, the space inbetween, the field of creativity and gestation. Our world has forgotten the two most important segments of the spiral that bring in direction and creativity. Now wonder we are worn out.

It is also tied to the divine feminine as that is the exhale, y vector of receiving. We do, we receive. This is an equal spiral.  I think the pause is scary for us as we think, how will it get done forgetting we are part of the larger field breathing us. At least that is how I see all this living in flow. As one designed to want to act and move, panic and rush, it has been a huge transformation to learn this and put it in practice. Allowing is another word we are not so good at. Allowing things to order without our action but our intention. Yes this is a new way of living we are now embodying. It is different than just masculine production. 

Reach out if you need support, practices or coaching as you shift into flow. There are definitely physical things like good water for that alone teaches you about flow. Fluidity supports this new way that is not so rigid and structured. Many dehydrated so it is even harder when your body isn't in flow. That is why it is my mission to educate others on quality water. It is a problem the water we drink and a simple shift can add tremendous health. The rest is awareness and practice in settling down and floating almost. Yes act when action is called for but watch and enjoy 2/3 of the time, allowing the world to do its part too. We are part of an integrated, flowing system that doesn't take all our energy to work in. Let us ride in this new way and find greater health. 

The world is a changing and I see it as good. Slow down, watch, see where your energy belongs and impacts. Massive action is not needed to achieve. Aligned, focus action is and in the rest of the time, pleasure and joy watching goodness in life is a healthy past time. What we all seek anyway! No it is not so easy as I am one of action but without the divine inspiration, action is just doing and often fruitless. Allow the inward voice to speak. Listening seems what is called for more often these days and thus I am. 

​Blessings to us all as we ride through this changing time! Love to all!