Expanding the Joy! Breathe into It!

I don't know if anyone else has this issue but I have over my life found myself cutting off the full joy of blessing! I know so many times I got an amazing trip, a day off or an exciting adventure fully paid for to some incredible place but because I need more flow for daily living, I would think, "How can I appreciate this when other things in life were not complete or flowing?' Yet isn't there always something in process in the cycle? Is that a reason not to feel fully the joy?

This has happened so many times in my life. I would get these incredible blessings. I would indulge in them and go to these wonderful places or enjoy the day off but there was a limit on my joy. I would feel so blessed then there was this ceiling that I felt in my nervous system. "Don't get too joyful or you still have this to manage and you need to worry about those things rather than revel too much in the blessing." It would bother me so and I would think "but Lyn, you don't get anything you don't deserve. Why not just revel instead of negate this magical occurrance?"

I think we all have this ancestral memory in us that must be cleared. A training of "You better watch as if you indulge too much it will be taken away! Or don't be too happy as misfortune is around the corner." Silly phrases that certainly didn't come from the true me as I don't generally think that way. I have always been able to see the good, enjoy another's blessing and revel in simple moments. I do know that there was an odd ceiling in me. Where the revel or savor would stop and the survival kick in. It would be mid adventure that common concerns would come in and take away the blessing being fully embodied. It was a nervous system thing I now know as I overcome that. I am sure many of you have been on vacation and you watch this kick in near the end where you are already planning the return. You have lost a few joyous days of vacation unsavored as you began the next week before it occurred. This non presence steals so much joy from us. 

We all come from immigrants and they had a hard life. They did not get to have the reflection, the joy, the convenience we do. If something went well, they were bracing for the other shoe to drop or the rug to be pulled out from under them. I've had a few of these experiences but not enough in this really plush life we live in this 2000, to build a strong pulse of that. We forget we were programmed since small fries of this survival mentality from many generations passed down in protection. It was not a conscious thing but a survival thing. In this time, most of us are not in sheer survival  as our ancestors. 

I stay often with my 90 year old aunt and I have seen where so many beliefs have come from our ancestry. It has been telling to see the anxiety, the worry, the concern, the "don't get to settled as a storm could be coming". She is a very happy girl and quite funny yet she has this underlying current of watch out. She worries for the worst and is so prepared just in case and very much a planner from how she had lived. She is my moms sister so I hear stories of a life so far away from mine and the reasons for this worry. Even though it is no longer part of her life, she still carries that as if it is here. My mom did as well and we used to try to say to her, that will never happen to you. It is not a real concern but it was in her program so she had a hard time releasing the worry. We all do. We are running out of date software.

As I have taken this 4 month long journey of such splendor and surprise, I have had the opportunity to watch this ancestral memory in action more than ever before. I have no real worries like the days of old but I watch a good thing occur and celebrate. Then in comes that survival thing, like that is enough joy, go back to bracing for the bad that rolls in now. I have been breathing through it to expand my joy longer and deeper. Letting my body know that I do not need to worry. I breathe to override this dna signal I have inside that really is not mine. 

We have so many of these things inside us that are unconscious. I believe we are in a time to create a new experience here by clearing these outdated fears. We have done this in many ways our whole life, expanded beyond our ancestors. There are ceilings or stop points within us that we can consciously breath through and expand to the true reality of today. Expanding the joy just one that is present for me now. I share to support you to also revel and savor more deeply. This is the security for me. When I can stay in a field of grace and blessing longer and more viscerally, I am opening the nervous system and human story to a more current time line.

I have found this most cute cozy nook on a magical piece of land with a breathtaking mountain view. I believe it will be my new home as I surf about the mountains in NC and see where  that permanent spot to be. It happened so magically through a minister friend, a new connection that flowed to me on this journey to land. Those bread crumbs we get in life where you put out an idea and then it returns in some odd yet mystical way. You know it is by divine design for you never could of conjured such ease and grace. Almost like it took no effort. I felt the land, the space small but the beauty perfect as that is what really grounds me. Others need other things but for me, land and beauty out my door are the security of safety. 

I thought "yes" and we met. Her friend was considering taking it so I said inwardly, what is mine will not come through panic and stress. Forward another week and now I am in the next step for procuring this lil space. As I go through the process and throughout it, I could hear, "better look at others too. What if this doesn't work out" or now you have this to do and that to do and I would find myself creating overwhelm and stress where it didn't need to be. Concern of my furniture would need to be sold and new things purchased. How will I store the others and how hard it will be to sort, move and the orchestration I must do alone. All these things that aren't even yet worries and most of them sequential steps that all moves involve and really are not a big problem. They are the joy of the journey that I was turning into worry or fearful things when this was what my 4 month trip was to be completed in. 

I breathed through it all and thought, these are not worries yet, you are making this all up in your head. It could go easily and smoothly. What fun it is to get new things and decorate a new spot with some old and new. Woman love this magic. How fun to finally feel you found the place to call home after so much search and travel. How brave I have been to hold and keep searching not in worry but with flow and intention that what is mine will show up. All the juicy goodness of this journey could easily be ruined by creating problems before they exist. Or by allowing that ceiling to stop me from really celebrating fully and joyfully for more than a moment the fun of the culmination of this journey.

I hope you see how we really do create problems and worries for ourselves when they don't yet exist. We cut short the celebration and joy of an achievement or completion of a project. We start more issue when there is no reason and reveling is the security of feeling so good about ourselves and in our nervous system. Cutting short the oxytocin moments and stepping back into the mind of hurry to the next step and make sure you see all sides. it is ludicrous when you really look at the stupidity and creation of nonsense when joy is here. I have decided no more. 

I expand the joy and stretch the limits of blessing and fun. You do this by noticing and breathing. Training the nervous system to feel safe for it is. These unconscious limits are not ours. They are an old story of protection we do not need. I have always been so lucky and things work out for me in magic ways. I do not need to understand or explain that. I need to fully revel in this everyday magic and allow my field to realize this is me. it is how it works for me and I can savor, revel as it stabilizes me. The worry, the thinking too far ahead throws me back into adrenal stress prematurely. It is not only unhealthy, it is just not real  There are no dinosaurs or true worries that a few breathes, a review of the situation and calm won't figure out. The immediate response of no safety is really a problem of health for us all. 

I complete that pattern of not savoring the true joy that comes to so many of us. No more ceiling here or creating problems where none yet exist. We all know it is the journey not the destination. I see how the reaction is to panic, be worried and brace myself for the next shoe to drop but I change that in awareness. That is what this time is about and this new world we are building. Making choices out of fear or from worry are not meant to be our operating way. We are too have more joy and abundance and that begins with reveling and savoring our good. Every last drop! Even if it takes a few conscious breathes to let go of the incomplete rings of panic inside us. 

We no longer have to live in adrenal stress and if we do, it is because we are not willing to really look at what is happening, have awareness and know what we can control and what we just need to flow with. Life has many twists and turns and I will no longer let the joy be lost in some unconscious pattern or ceiling. I will sip every last drop. I will allow that savoring to be my proof and security that life is good and joyful! I know we travel through many hairy places and to see our growth, our evolution, our expansion sets the tone of abundance. Not the worry of what could happen. That is old school thinking and I release it for me, my family and all humanity. Every turn supports the all and I invite you too to enjoy this expanding joy awareness. 

This is the new era and where we are in current time not ancestral time. Let us build this together. Reach out if you need support. This has become my embodiment, to experience the daily joy no matter what is outside!