Feminine Flow

It was over 13 years ago that the feminine way of being came across my radar. I had a Vibrant Living Festival at my farm and those whom ran it asked me to have their teachers come and do retreats. It sounded fun and little did I know it would put me on a long journey to understand feminine flow. I heard the words. I wrote a book. I taught woman's circles. I hosted retreats at the farm for others and then ran many of my own. It is funny for now I am learning a deeper layer of it. 

It was not me or my slow understanding, it is the structure of our world for us woman to follow masculine principles. We can hear the feminine way but something just doesn't register for all the world is in production and the safety seems to come from that. We are all mostly in survival on some level. Wanting to prove, perform, devote and serve. Even the words can only register in our minds for we have disconnected so long from our body and our sensing. Our openness to see what is alive in the field rather than what our mind wants us to create. It is kind of subtle yet not really grounded. No one showed us the gifts of femininity. There are not many models and we certainly aren't trained to use these wise gifts. 

They say it is the rise of the divine feminine and I have heard it for years. I have heralded it and desired it and yet I still am learning for it is a presence in the body, an embodiment that we are all now moving into. It sounds so lovely when you hear the words, receptive, nourishing, creative, open, sensing. intuition. It resonates in our heart but we do not really know what it means for it is not a mental behavior, it is an embodiment. Where our body leads us and we are just not taught this or sure what that means. We are under such pressure to live as men do and in a world that is built on production and doing not sensing what is next. Production is part of the feminine but it is done differently. 

So here I am 14 years in and yet another aha moment comes. The basis of this feminine flow is an actual inward safety. Without this safety inside, a knowing that all is well and a sovereign sense that the world is working with you and you are safe, you can't embody it. I know this so well as I have lived in that inward survival that I was not safe without doing, serving, adding into, producing. I have come at the world in an inward panic truly that will only bring about the things I am concerned about. Basic survival really and so many woman live in this. How could we not be? Men may too but I am a woman and can only share from that lens of experience.  If we are not taught or experienced that the world is working with us and for us, how could we feel safe. We must do or we will not survive. It sounds practical and correct. Yet that is not really what feminine flow is about. 

I can only flow in this way if I have an inward knowing that I am safe not matter what. We all have been trained in this unsafety and indeed it is in our cells. We haven't been safe in many ways so it activates our masculine energy to prove, do, achieve so we can feel safe. It is an outward way that may work for men but it won't for woman.  Perhaps I had to lose all my roles to really see this in a way of trust in embodiment. My whole life I lived in a bit of anxiety, panic, worry for survival on a very hidden level. Performing, offering to have value, melding into what was necessary to have peace and survive on some level. What a scary way to live but I have done it most fully. 

In losing all my roles slowly, from divorce, from jobs ending. from ending my mother guidance role, from leaving the community I grew up in, from moving to a new place where I don't really know where I am, I am seeing the connection to my body and sensing. No longer able to live in a survival world where it will kill us and our body, I finally see how it all works. Funny and ironic. The journey to feminine flow truly. Blessed with so much wisdom of so many systems and the wonder of age and experience I can see how I am done all the opposite things that wind my body into tension and even glaucoma! Wow! What a revelation that I am creating my own form of stress and chaos and non survival by my own beliefs and doing of misunderstanding how it all works here. I know I am not alone in this for we all were trained this way. 

We are all seeing that the world is not as we were taught. All the things we trusted, all the processes we did, all the systems we thought were designed to support us are not real. They are not here for us, they are set up for the few to thrive and the many to not. As I go through this revelation, I see we are going from the perspective of the outside gets us safety, goods, objects that will let us relax. But it doesn't really. Those with tons are in the worry to lose it as those without wonder if they will ever get it. Moving  to a world where we create these things inside and then the outer changes. That is why the divine feminine is rising. This pole of aliveness has a knowing of her creation, her connection, her support of the world, her precision and sensing knows how to work in this world. It is a remembering. It is the inside out approach that we all talk about but don't quite know how to do.  No one has shown us or been doing it. So of course this is a new way of creation yet it is the way the whole world creates at least nature. 

I write for myself when I want to really know I got a principle, learning, revelation. It is my way to reflect through words what I know within. So that is what this is. Finally, I am understanding this feminine flow as a total opposite to how I lived. It is within me now, as a visceral feeling and it requires a full trust in the world. That the world, all creatures, all things, all happenings are working for my becoming. A feeling that I am safe just how I am and I receive just because I am here. Not for performance, action, or doing. It is like I am the flower that receives the sun because I do. It doesn't need to do anything and the sun doesn't say oh I won't give you light if you don't do this. Only these flowers get sunlight and not you. All things receive the sun and the nutrients from the ground just because they exist. All life supports you because you are alive. Not because you did something. This is a huge shift in grounding and feeling safe and supported inwardly beyond anything I ever felt. The words might sound like something you heard but I now embody and remember this inside me fully. It lets out an exhale. An exhaustion. An expectation. A smile. I can relax fully and let things unwind. 

It is new to me and so many others for this is what our time is about. It is coming from the space of safety, of I am here so I am supported by all or the sun if that makes it simpler. As I sit in this new found flow, I realize my system, my body, my layers are so taunt from all  the years of proving. This is all a subtle, nuance of really knowing your body, mind, emotions and spirit that I am talking about. It is not really conscious, it is in the deeper parts that motivate us to move. Moving to participate, to produce, to survive, to serve or to be liked, to be this or that. The feminine flow comes from something deeper that is more a watching, an observation of things, an intuition, a body signal to move that feels light and curious not a mind produced idea. 

It is such a profound shift that I am still in the uncoil of all the years of coil. It is like a reversal in how I lived. Insane really. To start with I am safe all the way through my whole being and then in that safety, true safety, what wants to form? It is not loud or action like we've known. It is slower, like a rhythm and trust and it is not all action all the time. It is a more flow. We have to give ourselves permission to listen, which means more stillness and slower pace. We listen more. We receive ideas and intuitions. We nourish ourselves first so we feel open, safe, managed and full. These are true energetics not just a massage once a month. A way of living from presence. Allowing the world to meet us halfway, to show us the next steps and to observe and then move or listen and then move. So opposite us pushing our way to what we want. I imagine that is why it has taken me so long to get to this visceral safety. 

It is a surrendering to the flow of life and jumping into it as part, not a separate entity trying to get what it needs by pushing, proving, producing as if I don't I will not make it. Such a scary underneath motive that so many of us live by and don't even know it. Crazy stuff really. Gladly, we are shifting from identity to essence and presence.  From mission to resonance. Service to coherence. Doing to sensing. Clarity to listening. Effort to flow. Holding others to holding ourselves. Roles to being. Striving to emanating. Completely different than how I have ridden in the world. But to me as a woman, those words, the feelings they conjure, the field I sense is so nourishing. That is what I am remembering. This is how the world works, not how I was taught. 

Maybe you catch some of this, maybe not. It is just my ramblings as I learn the Art of Being a Woman as my book was all about this. I caught it then in a way that worked in the structure of a family and in the role as wife and mother. Now, without roles, it is the same thing but deeper inside I embody it. It is that time. The time to honor that we are in a body so precious, that is gets to experience this place as our spirit sinks in further and will create from the inward center not the mind conceived ideas only. Reading the field, feeling the field, knowing we are one in the same with it, not separate or cut off. It is a delicious time. I am thankful for this learning as It is unwinding years of stress tightness, constriction and misunderstanding of how to flow. 

I am enthused for this next leg more than ever. Knowing I get to flow, I get to pace my own rhythm, I get to see what the world offers me when I trust I am working with the field in collaboration not direction alone. I imagine I will anti-age pretty fast and with water as my guide of this feminine flow, I couldn't be in a better position. To share my ideas, maybe but to share clean, crisp, water of resonance, purification, nourishment, flow, that is sharing what I am learning. Life is fun and magic that way. I am exactly where I belong. 

The blessings already are!