From Anxiety to Flow

So I have been on the road now going on 5 months and will root in October in the mountains of NC. It has been such a journey of learning to flow. To not be grounded in my own place or in the beginning even know where that place would be, creates anxiety naturally. I could live in this adrenal stress and miss all the fun of this mystery.  We all live in far too much adrenal stress. Our body thinks we are in emergency when we are not. Being on the road this could amp up. Flowing and adapting to so many places and others has a bit of high alert. I wanted to reduce, relieve and clear that for I am not in danger. There has been fun at every turn.

In noticing this, not wanting to let this state run me, I have learned so much.  I have food, shelter and lovely people and experiences where ever I land. So it is not real to be in this anxiety. Our pattern of waiting for the other shoe to drop is deeply embedded in our body for many. Especially empaths, projectors in human design and woman. Safety is a luxury to our body and a healer. Even when we are safe, we don't really feel it to the core of full relax. This  has been my noticing and practice my whole journey. Really tapping into my body,  my emotional states, my mind to keep bringing me back to the joy and presence of where I am in that moment. We need to update this  safety in our body. 

In these conditions of travel, it is even harder with the uncertainty yet a good way to know if practices really work. I have gotten to states of relax and trust beyond any other time in my life. It feels so luxurious, a child like delight and a trusting vibe that produces what seems like magic. I have been in deep tears and fears, felt sad and all the other emotions too so this isn't just about fluff. It is the power to notice, release and relax that is the magic. The deep breathes and flowing feeling in the body my only tools. Nature too as I always find presence there and have deepened that. We can be in nature and still be clutched and thinking panic. It will soothe us deeper with the intention of  awareness and presence.

"Am I safe in this moment?" is a great question. Our mind makes up stories projecting forward that most will never come true. I have learned to abandon my mind unless doing business or an organizational tasks.I let it be the background sound. My mind was and defaults to overactive and my head clogged from too much fire, electricity or thinking. It doesn't allow energy to circulate through the body and these create burn out, clog and, over time, illness. I have a glaucoma eye that is softening so I know this overthinking, analytical thing well.

We are in a time where many are learning to embody this energy fully down to our toes. This electricity, spirit, God, fire of life is wanting to be more grounded in our physical being. Bringing down the minds ideas to feel and express and act or letting it circle on out if it is  not  needed. As I have learned the magic of our body in relaxed states, used properly, things needed magically are orchestrated, not thought into existence. We have been trained to think all into being and not included all our other parts of ourselves, like our energy body or the larger world we are connected too and creating in. It is not inert matter. It is a flowing life stream already doing its thing.  Our ideas are only the beginning  and why so many techniques don't work.  We are all students in this life force, learning to work with it.

Embodiment is allowing the flow of fire into your body. There are many systems, ayervedic, chinese medicine, yoga, qigong, nuerology, trying to explain to us how to truly ride in this body and be in full control. Not run by the mind, emotions, physical patterns or sensations but by our will of spirit. It is a new time for this and it has never been done as a collective in this current world condition. I feel as we do this, realizing we are using the earth forces to bring in our wonder, we will create a new world. Now we are operating outside the body mostly run by old patterns of human survival and existing like a whirlwind. Sometimes in charge, other times running old currents for years. Now we can really start to create intentionally and fully. It begins by being fully in the body deep down, the life stream flowing. 

Truly , this way to live that has so much more fun in it. It involves big trust that life supports you fully. We have not experienced that as young children so we go through that process of unwinding the old for this new frequency and trust.  For me, when my triggers come and it is always safety for me on some level, I allow them to pass saying, " I am completing this old spiral of energy." We have stuck experiences in our very cells. The triggers support us to notice and release. It is a good thing to sense that survival or fearful way. Breathing through it, allowing tears but with the idea of the witness of you knowing it is not happening now. It just feels like it is. You are now an adult and can reason or get out of the situation. You don't need to respond helplessly as a child with no wisdom or reacting with no awareness. I so often notice how many old fears are continually running us and it is not now. If we unconsciously operate as we have from them, we will just repeat the very things we are trying to transmute and grow from. 

I have learned life is richer when you notice, allow to feel and release right then and get back on balance. This unwinding has gotten my experience of life so much more rich and sensual. Colors are brighter, joy is richer, all experiences so much fully without the extreme survival tension holding me back. It is a process and I imagine I will go through it my whole life but I get the process now and don't need to be lost in the glitch of repeat. Our body is such a friend and shows us the way when we honor its talking rather than treat or fix it. Those are purposeful but in the future we will not heal in the way we do now. Maybe it will take 100 years but it is moving out. 

Anxiety to flow is the best way I can say it. I notice, I feel, I let the old complete and then energetically all releases for me down into the earth. Then a well of water, of nourishment arises and I feel so much better. Lighter, gigglier and more alive. I have unlayered so may tensions. Deeper and more keep showing up but I know the process, I feel the lightness. and it is quite fun after a bit. It is a youinverse. What we see outside is truly a product of our inside hidden depths. As we address in lightness and release, the inside feels clearer and  the world does the same. It is really quite magical. 

If you need support or any other chat on this please reach out. I learn so I can share and I feel so alive these days even without my home. It is found and now the logistics will play out in timing but I found how to manage anyway in full pleasure, joy and fun as I was homeless and searching. This is a feat I am so proud of and I learned so much about me, my body and how to surf the unknown. I am sure it came to me so I could share and help others learn resonance, balance and lightness. It is a magical world when you get into the flow. Water is the healer, the teacher of mechanics and world we live in. Flow indeed is far more fun than trapped fire of anxiety. Blessings to all!