I am embracing my time being alone at this moment in my life. I have not been alone much and certainly not in a relatively new area to me. I lived one place most of my life. I have friends, I have dated and enjoyed that but right now, I am in an alone phase. It is kind of strange to me. I have always been surrounded by many I love and know. There is a great freedom in it I never felt before. Yet it is a bit different.
Many woman wish they had my freedom and many I know want freedom alone. I, having been married so long and a collaborator, like partnership in all things. Careers, projects, life, I enjoy working and being with others when I do. I am more inward than most although many don't think that. As a flower farmer, I was mostly alone with nature and I thoroughly loved it. It was a playful life. Bees, birds, flowers, creatures, farm animals, it was great company. So I am used to being alone for most days but I always had my husband or friends about in a huge way when I was ready to interact.
I have that here just not in the abundance I had back east. I think it is a good spot to explore and be alone as there are many adventurers here. I have been so many cool places with others. So I am not all alone. I don't have the reflection of others knowing me well and there is no child or relationship at this time that takes up my time. It is very different the last month for me. My daughter off to another country and here I can settle into myself and chose what is next. Knowing I want a partner that delights in me and I in him, I enjoy myself and explore me so I am ready to partner when the right one comes along. I have had fun looking.
I am enjoying this moment to really be alone with myself. Some of the spaces I find in me are not so lovely or fun. Fears of aloneness or not having a support system crop up but I do have a support system so I just need to remind myself it is not true. I am not always sure what to do next. I do the worldly things, go to work, help others, enjoy the beauty and connect but I have more free time than ever. A normal empty nester thing.
I have allowed the emotions, the inward growth to happen as I shed all expectations I had at other times in my life. As we age, we value things differently and we need the time to review and upgrade. It can be a dark time some days but I roll through them anyway. This is life. If you want to create and enjoy, you must check in to see what will bring joy now as you roll through the stages. Support being the ultimate condition we all enjoy and seek. Real support to unfold yourself as this is all we do year in and year out. Grow and expand.
I think there is a natural resistance to being alone. We are herd animals so to speak. It is good to have balance and find the right mix of spaces. There are also seasons to it and this one is a Lyn creation. I consider there are not many others, so I can feel myself and create what I want and what others are pleasing. It is freeing and scary all at once. Many have the I can do it alone attitude but I never did it alone until recently. So I am still mastering this leg. There is a delight to be the sole creator with no other input. I never had that and perhaps in a way I am like a 20 year old discovering her path.
As I go through the good and no so of this phase, I find it is important to love where you are. There is a divine order and path that happens and often just surrendering to it, is the plan. I think I would be more social if I had the collective to do so. I don't however want to waste my time doing things because I should or feel obligated. So I take this alone time as freedom I should use to know myself. It can be sleepy and boring at times. I think there is a purpose to that, although I am not aware of that yet.
I know many woman get into this phase of mid life and wonder how to roll through. I do it by truly honoring myself for the first time. It is odd but it is freeing. I take this moment to find out who and how to express now with no obligation. What calls me to share? What gets me up and moving? What and who do I want to attract? How do I want to mingle? I have answered many of these questions on the business level and still doing that personal inventory. It is a very curious time.
I send love to others doing this inward rebirth that is the path of all woman. As our children go, our careers for some, we have more time to enjoy who we are. Discover who we are. It is a process of growth and we go through the letting go of what was. The resistance to being in a free place even if we are not sure what to do. We get to investigate it. It can be really fun and the other way too. It is all part of our woman hood. None of it bad or wrong, just the process of change woman go through after such a huge role of motherhood. To mother ourselves the final stage. What a wierd twist that is!
Let go of the loss, sadness or fear as the leaves fall. There is great connection in alone time. A connect with ourselves which will only bring in the best connects of others. Whether we upgrade our relationships or build new ones, the quiet alone time allows us to find peace and comfort in our soul. It allows us to rebirth again another day, another cycle. It is a quite beautiful journey to be a woman! It continues in mystery even as we age! Teehee!
Inspiring ways to love your life! Simple writings on how to see life in ways that bring joy, relaxation, oxytocin, health and vitality giggling through life!
|Lyn Ann Hicks
Growing Your Beauty!