I have been blessed with so many friendships in my life. I have so enjoyed girlfriends and guy friends as an instrumental part of my life. They have gotten me through so many challenges, celebrations, enjoyments and crossroads. I don't know what I would of done without them.
They do come and go, morph with time, life circumstances effect them, stages of life change them and activities we are part of enhancing and eliminating them, Some are good to have left, others were sad to have lost, the changing of the guard of support and love have had their tale. My latest transition from married to divorced, cleared many of the usual folks from my life in the quickest of ways. Probably the most challenging of losses of them thus far. At a time when all seems unstable and support so necessary, I found myself with less than more.
I understand why this transition creates such a disconnect in the groups and people you have in your life. It is an uncomfortable scenario in so many ways. Memories of old times as a couple seem to infiltrate trying continuing many of the friendships in a odd way. Not sure how to continue something that had a different flavor from the original 2. During a divorce there is much unbalance within yourself as well. Your behaviors, judgments, actions, clarity also thrown off so you don't necessarily make the best choices and that has it effects on others around you.
I awoke from a dream of an old girlfriend that I laughed and giggled with for almost 24 years, the life of my marriage. We are no longer in contact, it waned as my separation began. Many conditions effected that and it certainly was meant to move on but there is still such love in my heart for her and so many no longer in my life. It made me ponder the ebb and flow of all my friendships with a different eye.
People have such purpose in our lives. There is a time and season for them. Some go the whole way but they are rare and special friends that are meant to travel the journey with you. The others are truly a gift of time and space. Although there is loss as they leave, there is also new beginnings with others that their absence make space for. You can't be good friends with too many for life has many things in it and time constrains what you can have in your life. I am seeing the greater joy in these past friendships without the sadness of their dissolution. Finding the blessing, releasing the discomfort and seeing the newer life I am creating has blessing without them.
As life changes, stages continue, we become and expand our ways of being, it is natural for our clan to shift and twist. Not necessarily comfortable yet as we embark on new ways of being, it is necessary for different kinds of support and love to be part of that new path. I am embracing that idea more fully this morning. Feeling blessed for the past friends yet being open to new friends that will be more in sync with my opening endeavors. We often have incomplete feelings about these shifts in friends and fortunes. Lingering sad or sorrow, nostalgia for the old all can take space within us.
I feel completed with this. I honor those who have been on my road and have only gratitude and love for the fun and life we shared. I see the higher perspective on it though, and end the longing or loss that has shown up here and there through this transition. There is learning in all that occurs and time supports the jewels of that to see the blessing of the not so happy splits. There is no need to carry sorrow or sadness, only delight in what was shared. New flavors of friends have and continue to replace them that are more in line with what is becoming. The past was yesterday, has been complete and will not return again. It is important that we close those doors completely, release lingering feeling about it and move on clear for the day.
I feel open to what new friends will come along in light of this learning of letting go. Fate continues with twist and turns all through our life. We do need to trust that all works out in the end for the greatest good. We may take time to realize this, synthesize it and carry forth the true blessing but it only supports us to complete things clearly and fully. Space for new experiences and friends must be made by letting go of any lingering emotions, beliefs or views of old situations. This clearing is important. The trees release all their leaves in the fall in a most beautiful way that has purpose to prepare for winter only to turn into new growth in spring. Our lives are in line with that as is our friendships.
A blessed realization of the wonder of the past, the present and the future with friendships this morning that lightens me for the day and the road ahead.
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Lyn Hicks’ passion is to awaken others to their true joy through play and relaxation! Mentor, Teacher and Writer on The Feminine Way of living!
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