I have been separated over 5 years and divorced almost 3. Often people ask me for advice on men and I tell them I have no real idea. Having not dated for over 25 years and then dating only 4 or so men since I was divorced, my reference points are limited. 3 of the men I knew previously and only one was an introduction through mutual friends. They all have taught me such learning of myself and I am most greatful for the lessons in self care. Probably the one I didn't know at all taught me the most and it was very interesting to observe myself in that relationship. I chose this to share as one of my last self care blogs for it has been a real learning for me on taking care of myself first.
It seems that there is some personal growth for me before a more balanced relationship will come in. I have found that I attracted men who have some form of heart break still going as they stumble upon me. I am a very happy spirit and fun to be with. I laugh alot, I embrace my wacky ways so I am easy to be with and very entertaining. Each of these men dumped me and it was a good thing. I knew innately none of them were for me but I stayed in it much like I did with my marriage. Marriage is different to go the extra mile, I went that and beyond until the man or the universe just sliced me out of the picture. In each one as I said, I knew it wasn't going to last and often my being yelled "Leave this relationship". However, I am learning as a divorcee to truly listening to myself or default mode occurs. No one's ego feels good being ditched but it has been my path to learn self care.
I must also have some form of heart break or I wouldn't attract these men with that reflection. I guess we all have that in life as divorced or widowed scenarios. I was the first line, the first woman for all of them as a transition to dating. The first man, an old friend that I didn't remember really wanting to date him ever as he did me. That fizzled in 6 months. He a heavy drinker I discovered, very clingy and controlling. I was more neglected in my marriage so it felt good at first but I am not one to do everything with another. I am not in contact with him anymore.
The second lost his wife. I rolled in about 10 months after, which I have learned, that is the crash and burn after a death. He was very down and depressed, I felt my silliness and elixirs could support. We were very peaceful together but maybe too peaceful with no fire. His down moods and extended situations with his kids had him back off from me. It was best. He is still my friend. We have a very loving friendship that was good support but not a long term romance. He has found another.
The third I will share here, I learnt most from and was the one I called wild boy in previous blogs. We were extreme opposites and I think he may have began dating just to spike his ex and to support his hurt heart. We had a wild time together when we played with fun but as far as two ends of the spectrum, we took it. I knew the first time we went away together he was not going to last but rode it out for he was so different than any I had known. Curiosity inspired us both. He ended up dumping me by sending me a pic of him and his new girl, then blocking me from his phone. A first for both extremes but it was his way and it is a giggle to me. I knew that spirit was trying to redirect me long before.
He taught me the most for he showed me my shadow of acquiescing in a big way. I am a helper girl and it is hard for me to leave any relationship. I hold hard. I hate to let people go it alone. He showed me anger easily, I felt like I was always getting yelled at. I would astonish myself that I let anyone be like that to me but I did and often giggled that one was ok to be so honest and mean. Odd learning and karma for sure. We had this wild attraction energetically, our fields where like fireworks of opposites. He had no desire for spirituality and thought my elixirs and work were hocus pocus. How did I stay with one with such little value for my favorite things? Learning crazy that way and he cleared tons of shadow behavior from me.
He made fun of me in a jostling way kind of and I stuck around. We did laugh a lot. He was angry often, annoyed, pessimistic and I stuck around. He was a workaholic, I was neglected but I stuck around. He blew me off often for work yet I stuck around. He was uncompromising and ruling and I still stuck around. I surprised myself so much by all this and observed it inwardly. I know there was a purpose as all things for us both and my light energy as a minister keeps me in some odd places. It was clear it should and would end soon but I still stuck around until he rudely sent me the pic and then blocked me with final words of " Enough". Thank you, next is a good response. It was the height of an experience of true crazy girl of me. If ever I had one person bring out all shadows, wild boy did. It has much laughter though thinking of it as it did experiencing such insanity.
I tell you this for relationships are a huge a self care key. I am not savvy with dating. so this as well as friendships has been a huge learning the last 5 years. This experience has been quite fun and learning to go through with these other men. I saw how I stayed way past my self care. I saw how I flexed beyond my boundaries. I saw that I attracted wounded guys and felt like I needed to be there even if it wasn't good for me. I tapped into my anger finally with wild boy and really could express at being mistreated rather than meek. I honor them all and the lessons. I saw their light but that doesn't mean others will express that to me. I also had to learn, especially with wild boy that his hearts desire was to work. Mine to play. He felt good working so I couldn't take that personally. It was what he felt best doing.
The moral is that we will always be learning. As you can see, I learned a little in each one for slowly we progress up the ladder out of our patterns. Very similar they were in many ways and this is how we learn. We tweak, learn and try again to gain more ground. There are not leaps in most cases in patterns. It is a spiral. I largely learned that I myself must settle me with self care. Know myself and work on loving me, developing and listening to me. Then a greater match that is more centered can come upon me. This is the great value to know yourself through relationship and using it as a tool of self care. These all started out as self care. Even when I knew they were not, I kept going.
In the end, my inner voice knew I was not to be in any of them as long as I was. They got rid of me when I should of let them go long before. The end result is the same. I could of saved myself hurt and drama!? Or would I have learned: I could of honored my inner knowing and myself. We live and learn.
Self care is truly learned most through relationship. How do you care for self? Do you give up your thriving for another's? Do you listen to your inner voice? These are all great self care keys and lessons on truly honoring you! Each time you choose you, you are honoring you and your magic gets more grounded. I enjoyed them all! And if I ever run into wild boy, I am sure we will laugh upon seeing each other! I know I will! Teehee!
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As energetic beings with over filled schedules, our body awareness or energy, is important. I learned this so well and clearly from the Himalayan Masters. The most important thing is to find ways through out your day to get out of the cortisol of adrenal living and into the parasympathetic nervous system. We have trained ourselves to be in a level of panic all day that is not necessary. We only need that intense way of being when in intensity, battle, feel threatened or in a crisis. We can be aware of our body and create health through this simple practice
The parasympathetic nervous system is when we are in the flow. We feel connected, not rushed but moving in confidence, on the ball, open to new opportunities, creative and in the magic of life. Small coincidences happen, things show up, we are tapped into our intuition and feel good about our lives. Just being in this more relaxed state of oxytocin shifts our life tremendously, hourly, daily and in general. It is as simple as finding ways to get into this pleasure, relaxed nervous system.
How do we do this? There are so many ways. Most know of oxytocin as the pleasure hormone. It is released in giggles, sex, delicious eating, healing treatments, relaxation, vacationing, creativity, when doing something we love. The list goes on with all the things that bring you joy and pleasure. I tell people to create this list of small and large ways you could have more pleasure and joy in life. Reading a good book, being in nature, a good cup of tea, a great conversation with a child or friend, the list endless as we are.
We notice our state throughout the day, how our body feels by taking a moment to check in. If we are stressed or scurrying, we ask ourselves, "Do I need to be in this intense flight or fight state?" If not, and most times the answer is no, we find a way to bring ourselves back to a pleasure, relaxed state. I have a breath exercise that can shift us. You can play some good music, breath 10 deep breaths, take a break, slow down, stop outside somewhere and see the beauty, think of the blessings, find anything that can bring our energy back in line with this flow pace.
Body care is that simple and awareness supports us to health. Magically, as we do this, our body begins to operate the innate health system and bring us in that parasympathetic more often without us thinking. We listen and connect with our body and it shares a greater state. It is a natural way we are to move. Our body starts to eat right, move more smoothly, be more connected and aware of the world. If we are in rush and focus always, we are going too fast to really participate fully in the world, noticing the signs of our body and the things around us supporting our direction.
Noticing our state by paying attention, realizing we could create calm to move in flow and then doing something in that moment for a moment to shift us to that. This alone supports great health on all levels. We connect more to ourselves, know ourselves and patterns, and realize our power to change it in the moment. Health, bliss, beauty, joy, all these things begin to be part of lives easily by being aware.
I inspire you to make this the most important body care there is. Notice yourself, your state, your body, your emotions and mind. If it is not where you need to be, do something easy to shift you back toward what state you want. You give yourself a momentary pleasure, reset your flow and life begins to appear beautiful again. Positivity, possibilities, ideas, all these things come from this parasympathetic state of being. It is what we are meant to be riding in most all the time. The Yoga of Living, paying attention to yourself, your emotions and state throughout your day. All becomes easier and alert clarity is the result. As you do this, listen and know yourself through your daily life, all other things shift and change how we live. Life becomes sensually magical!
Oxybreath Video, Feminine Health the Fun Way!
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Beauty is measured in such a different way than is the truth of beauty. It is subjective! Some plants and flowers I love as most beautiful and another thinks they are not and has different favorites. The world of beauty in all nature is very much in the eye of the beholder. Art the same way. Why we must be this way or that just doesn't make sense. Some people like slender woman and others like curvy gals. Some like blondes and others brunettes. It is not an across the board thing. Our culture is whacked out on this subject. All woman are beauty as are all flowers. That is why I named my book The Lotus Project. The lotus is considered the Queen Of Flowers. We all have that potential to be the beauty of ourselves uniquely and exquisitely.
I was trained a different way about beauty and the power of confidence and magnetism. Like the flowers or trees. Some will be drawn to adore and that match is perfect. Others will find it not so beautiful and that is ok. There is no one plant or flower that every single person loves. So I see beauty more as an energy, a magnificence one puts forth through the form of their hair or body. It is far more powerful than outward beauty, it is the essence of beauty and has more magic. There are poles of energy and certain things are just naturally attracted to certain things. There is no right or wrong about it.
As a woman, I learned to find what my beauty is and revel in it. I learned to embrace my body as it was and in connecting to it, give it direction to shape and enhance me in my most healthful way. These were very magical things to me for our world shares that not. Some people have great confidence and so they appear so beautiful. Others have great beauty but no confidence so their beauty doesn't emanate past the look. We see beautiful youth who have no ideas of their beauty. They have no confidence so it doesn't radiate the room as well.
I learned it as a vibration and that it starts with me. That I call myself beautiful and then the world shows me that. It took a bit to find that in myself but it is easy to do. I just reveled in what I like and I have posted videos on my site about this. You begin to expand that smallest honor or beauty in you out more and more. Next thing you know over time, you are in love with yourself. This is what I am finding now and it is delicious. Now when I go in the world, I hear I am beautiful all the time and I am not an innately beautiful girl. I just understand the principles and confidence of magnetic and alluring energy. It works greater than physical beauty. I own the beauty that I do have and that works magically in itself.
Self care is really an act that makes you more beautiful. It doesn't have to be botox or facials or nails. Infact, I did none of that this 30 day journey but a float tank in salt water. I didn't do the normal things I would consider self care and expanded my understanding of it. It was about caring for myself truly, richly and consistently like I did my daughter. Always making sure her needs were met, checking in to see if I could make things more cozy. I praised her for her good works and shared that mistakes were nothing to get in trouble for but to learn from. I didn't criticize her as I could do to myself. I loved her through all her tantrums and illnesses. I was just there for her. That is what self care is. Being there for yourself in full presence as you would a child or lover.
It may seem small but it is huge indeed for we do not care for ourselves as we do others usually. We sacrifice and give up things we wish for. That is good at moments and it fuels us but other times we martyr and it is very negative self care. We are motivated that one will thank us or like us or care for us because we did and that is not the way it works. We are to master and manage ourselves first. The line, "If mama isn't right, the whole house isn't right" is very true. We just lost the truth and action that we are to make ourselves right not others. We are the woman and masters at nourishing. We just have to do it to ourselves! Others are not as good at it!
So beauty shines when we feel cared for. If I feel pretty it doesn't matter who thinks I am. All the compliments or insults won't shift my beauty power. If I don't feel beautiful, all the compliments and attention will not make me feel that way. We have all had this. We won't hear or receive them. Beauty is truly an inside job. it is also a thing to realize no one is beautiful in looks to everyone. But energy of confidence and beauty within, attracts everyone. All want to be around one who feels good about themselves, men and woman for it is not so prevalent in our world.
I inspire you to care more and more fully for yourself even if your beliefs say not to. We have been trained to be martyrs. It is not real. The magic is in knowing what we need at any given moment and giving it to ourselves or seeking one to support. It is a responsibility that carries us far in beauty, health and life. I knew these things and with this 30 day expansion got a greater experience and understanding of true self care. It is easier than we think. Takes less time than we realize and it is in our small daily acts that the great transformation takes place.
Mmmmmm. Delicious self care!
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We are not reminded enough of the power that comes from our inward investigation. How could we possibly know ourselves without a great ongoing investigation through time alone and practices that support this? We are so busy in the world today, filled schedules until we drop to bed. How can we know ourselves with all this outside stimulation? No time to digest things, reorder experiences, check in with ourselves. Many things happen in a day and we keep going to the next, often forgetting what we did earlier. A moment to just consider the events of the day and how we feel about them is a good practice. Just to settle our thoughts and feelings, let them be complete.
My journey of self care has really given we the opportunity to take time alone with myself. I could be alone and not do this, stimulated by outward things. Instead I took time to sense what I truly need and give it to me. As you know it is many different things depending on where I am and what is happening. The key is to check in with myself. I learn more what I like, what inspires, what I don't really like and what annoys me with greater clarity. I am getting into the nitty gritty of me and who that is.
In a busy day we could go hours through so many events and never really see how we are doing. We are just doing, feeling, seeing, engaging, hearing, smelling and can get flooded. We go through emotions like water rushing, happy, tired, sad from news, elated at the song on the radio, upset from the reaction we got. A flowing stream of consciousness and activity continuously. Nothing will stop life. We must put on the breaks and gain a sensing of who we are truly and how we are feeling about the things around us. It doesn't take long, just a check in, notice, shift ourselves to center and move on.
Many things go unprocessed. I find it important to process the things in a way that settled me. Not go into great reflection, just notice what wasn't really complete, what was still in motion within me to allow it to be done. A conversation that was exciting to revel in. Bad news that hit me hard so a prayer toward that issue and release of it. An idea that came in so I consider if it is usable and what to do next. How too many people effected me that day. Did it drain me? How what I ate didn't sit well or was delicious. A moment to just go through what delighted, what didn't, what to take action on or what to put behind me. This is important self care. Important knowing of yourself so the whirlwind doesn't continue.
Over stimulation from all life without a check in can support us forgetting our true selves. How can we care for something that we are not understanding what it needs? We must listen, pay attention, follow our nuances. Ideally we should be doing this moment to moment. I found as I did this more at night or paused in my day, I found it happening often without my thinking. I was riding with myself rather than disconnected from what I was feeling, experiencing or doing. Embodied we call it. Actively connected to myself and my mind, body and emotions. Not just thinking here and feeling there and my body chasing along. Alignment became easy and natural.
Get to know yourself. Truly know yourself. It is continually unfolding. Don't be afraid to really be present with you, your feelings, your needs. So much activity is based on others needs, beliefs of what we should be or do and putting forth this idea into the world of who we are. Find out that real you. It is a mysterious unfolding that shifts, changes and occurs each moment. I learn deeper who I am and what I have just imitated as a child. Imitated is the perfect description for these patterns we watched and now do. It has none of me in it. It is some other persons way of doing. We mimic, copy cat or imitate unconsciously what we have seen and heard as children.
Time to get to know your really, With a little awareness, check ins each day along the way, we really experience ourselves and our feelings. Not always thinking but taking that break to see your energy level, your mood, you reactions, your body presence, your sense of self in that moment. Know thyself is the secret to all the love, care, nurturing, connection and fulfillment you ever want.
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Tomorrow at the Room at Meadowbrook we have a whole day of free Holistic Classes. I start the day sharing Tai Chi health at 9 am. All martial arts come from QiGong, the Chinese Medicine of movement. The Dragon Gate Line of Tai Chi I am in, uses Qigong movements for a morning awakening practice. They stimulate your organs and meridians in a gentle way to get your body going. You feel a smooth, alert energy that gives you peace and aliveness for the day. I use this as my movement rather than some challenging workout.
In the west, we are educated that movement must be hard, long and unpleasant to find health and that simply is not true. In the Eastern traditions, especially for woman, movement gives us connect to our body lovingly and supports health and detox. It doesn't need to strain us. Mostly connect us positively. Feeling good, alert, alive and activated in vitality. Hard workouts are more for men for they thrive on the muscle, competitive and adrenaline based activities. Woman like the flowing, gentle ways for their body is designed that way. Dance being the one activity that all woman should enjoy for health. Free flowing is the best, where the body deva, our innate health system gets to move as it wants to release unwanted emotions through grace and ease. It is sacred, easy for we can do our own level and certainly physical in a way that we enjoy in pleasure.
Self care involves moving our body in ways pleasing. Our lymph system has no pump and removes all the toxins so movement supports that detox. Often overweight people have issue with holding onto fluid which appears as fat when they are just not regulating the fluid in their bodies properly. Hard workouts put us in adrenal stress as woman when we are seeking ways out of that and into parasympathetic. Using movement not workouts fares better with feminine health. You may look healthy but inside, your body will eventually run into issues for our adrenals get burnt out from the masculine movements. It just is.
Using the outside as part of your movement connects you to mother nature which is filled with feminine vibes of beauty, becoming, nourishing and growth. Oxygen is fresh, the sensuality inspires and supports us to ground in our bodies. Negative ions are present to balance all the positive ions of our homes and technology. The spaciousness provides an opening of our minds, clearing the unwanted chatter. Presence is easy for us all there.
Our bodies need to move to detox, release emotions, burn stored up energy and shift about our energy field. It doesn't have to be hard for all these benefits can come from flowing in easy ways that inspire us to appreciate the body deva and give it support to do its work. The easier we move, the more we move, the easier it gets, the more we do it. These are important ways to adjust and shift ourselves. We don't need hard regimens or body building techniques unless that is an art that you enjoy. I like to use my body as efficiently as I can so when I want to play at skiing, hiking, bike riding or kyaking,, I am in good shape to support me. I do not participate in hard workouts. It is against my feminine body and I support me in health understanding this concept of flow for woman.
Do use your movements to support your emotional, mental and physical body in ways gentle and enjoyable. Working out doesn't get you to lose weight as fast as eating healthy amounts and good food. I spent my younger years doing all the extreme workouts and it will not reshape you. Food reshapes you. Movement strengthens your body in so many more ways than power. Power is not necessary for most woman. They just need to move to flow, feel good, release emotions and have health and beauty.
I highly suggest using movement in these ways if you want to feel magical, sexy and beautiful. These are the gifts of femininity that will help woman feel good, vital and magnetize their life into fulfillment.
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Friends, mentors, connections and like minded folks are so valuable. Self care is knowing who to keep around you in life and who to let go. I grew up in the community I now live. I had known many of the same high school friends for over 30 years and they were valuable for most of my life. We had an incredible loyalty and acceptance for each other that many never get to experience. I added people along the way but generally my community was the same until about 8 years ago.
Shifting directions for us all at some point changed things. Behaviors and interests became different and who knows what Karma was involved that the main system of support I had began to change and drop away. It was a big challenge for me. New people more in line with what I am doing and where I am going came along but having a group for so long made it a challenge to let go. Slowly, however from my spiritual study and divorce, things shifted dramatically. I went more inward, distance came between some of my greatest long time friends and lessons to be learned created new community.
I can only take all things as perfect and divine so I walked through this phase realizing things were different and what was so important at one point in my life was no longer so valuable to my self development. We all go through a change in friendships somewhere along the way so you know the hardship this can be. Trying to understand doesn't always have an answer so you find letting go of the old, honoring it, letting it be and calling it complete is a good support for yourself. Married clans hang out with married clans. Friends move away, another's husband passed, things change is the law. I speak with many woman and this is a challenge for us to allow this break in relationship as community holders.
Although this felt bad, harder when the same crew is as your network for so long, you keep walking and seek to find those people who will flourish you now. We all change, marriages end, new ones begin, careers change, where you live shifts, this is just how it goes. We are evolving and growing so we will change our environments about us. It is important we grasp this on all levels, allow it to occur and try to keep the emotions of these changes to a minimum. Feel the sadness, the loss but keep going knowing when one thing is lost another greater thing is made room for.
This eclipse has been true clearing of things for the last 9 or so years. I felt this most in my circle of people. New spiritual people and missions came in and over time, many of my normal supports have fallen off. I understand with my mind the value to these things, the changes within and without yet often our emotions, memories, loyalty and feeling of a clan mentality create deep loss. As I feel this, I direct myself to those that are support now. Seek greater experiences for yourself in the space of now rather than yesterday or way back when. It is no longer then. Life is fresh and new each day, there is no better or worse, just different experiences.
I inspire you to take inventory of those you have had in your life. Honor those that where there and those that moved on. Don't hang on to things that have shifted. It is a level of being in the past that doesn't support you forward. This has been a great lesson for me. Allow what is and has happened to be. Find peace and know there is purpose in it and that it will come forward down the road. Change is not always easy at first, but it is always occurring and we do great self care by flowing with it. Even if a part of us wants to hang on, it won't work. Keep going, seeking the next joy, the next connect, mentor, friend. We have more struggle and low energy going over the past, trying to hold onto it than we do by moving forward.
Self care is finding the right perspective for the people in your life. Maybe there are draining people in your life now that you need to re-evaluate and stop considering loyalty, past fun is the reason to stay connected. History is good but we change, evolve and we need our friendships and connects to be just that. People are powerful influences in our life. We need to only cultivate those relationships that fuel and inspire us to be our best. Those that hold the past against you or create more drama than fun are to be let go.
We have only so much time and if you have personal strife with one, maybe it is time to move forward to newer supports. Not as easy as it sounds but in the long run you are expanding with change and others that will love and support you in your becoming will show up. I have watched it happen for myself. The only thing that stops this being a joyous process is the hanging on.
Open yourself for the next leg of connections. It is time for our purposes to be expressed and often that will be different than the crew you grew up with, raised your kids with or lived in the same neighborhood. Soul families are coming forward to support us in our divine mission so make room for it. It is for the highest good and you will delight in it if you truly let go of what was. Say goodbye, thank you for all we had and open to those who you will be riding with next!
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On Tuesday, I got the opportunity to do a float in a salt water tank. BStill Float in Ottsville offers an excellent experience at a reasonable price. I had done it there once before but this time, I got lost for almost 2 hours in the tank. It is a spacious individual experience. I love the Russian Bayan as a health practice and highly recommend this as well. My top two deep healing water experiences.
We all know the benefits of salt to remove negativity. The salt caves and rooms cropping up everywhere are truly a gift to us. We can use these cool experiences to support ourselves and alleviate the toxins inside as well as about us. Easy, meditative, proven and a graceful break from life to relax and slow us down. I am all for these things for they support our body in the parasympathetic nervous system of rejuvenate, renew, rebuild, relax, refresh and heal! Even soaking our feet in Epson Salts supports us greatly.
The salt float is an amazing experience to feel the bouyancy of your body. To feel held, comfortably supported in water like never before, in this cocoon, truly a healing experience. You get a chance to go easily inward with less challenge for the salt supports removing negativity on all levels, the mind settles. The rhythm of your breath calming. Your heart beating melodic and grounding. A great tap inward in a way that is simple and no work. These are the things I like to do for health, healing, self care. They are just peaceful ways of regeneration.
I went in with an intention to figure something out. I meditate, so it was easy for me to be in there an hour at the least. Yet the answers to my question were not coming forward. I asked for support from other levels, and there seemed to be just nothing. I thought, patience, be still and know God as is said, I will wait here for an answer and take Divine timing. At some point Lakshmi, The Goddess of Abundance on all levels showed up. I asked her why she was there for she didn't seem a solution to my issue. I could feel different pains in my body. I asked them to share with me what created them, what I was supposed to see. Still nothing.
There was a weight in my high heart, as it is called, where our thymus in located. I asked to have it lifted but nothing happened. Finally I just took my hands and while I floated, started to massage this area with the idea, I will do something with this. In that moment I realized the whole time I was waiting for myself to do something. I was the one to take the power and support myself. Sounds easy but it was a true revelation. Suddenly a bout of forgiveness came over me. I was forgiving everything and everyone with an explosion of thoughts in my mind. It was fast and rambling while I massage my heart, my knee, my hand, all may pains.
I realized why Lakshmi came in. To remind me that we have the Sri, the wholeness, the essence of all within. She was requesting that I take my power and stop limiting myself. It was me who is not using all I have. That was the answer and this lightness and joy was filling in me. All the while I was peacefully, buoyantly floating. Magical feelings and smiles where in every cell of my body. About that time, the music came on. An indication it is time to get out. I felt confident and imagined my Queenly state. I have so many visions of being a Queen with many jewels. I was in it.
Whether this was an imaginary experience or a real adventure into the deeper parts of me does not matter. I felt open and lifted, buoyant beyond just floating but in mind, body, emotions and tapped into my true spirit. The essence of my own, unique greatness. I climbed out, rinsed off in the shower and my outward body was soft, glowing, rejuvenated and beautiful. It was a magical experience!
To my delight, I also was blessed with a sound bath healing by Michael after I came out. Having the sound of the bowls, other instruments and a digeridoo play upon my sacred body temple was just astounding. It cleared out any other remnants in my field. I felt the vibrations, the sound swirl my body in such a sensual way. I had never experienced the bowls all around me in a personal sound bath. Delicious!! I highly recommend.
As I drove home feeling clear, clean, loved, lovable, peaceful and sparkly, I realized how blessed I am to be so curious. To try these arts out there, find new modalities and masterful healers. I had an incredible day of being with me and caring for myself. Getting to know myself and experience myself in ways I never had before. I even felt the Queenliness of me. The wonderful Queen I am of my own dominion. My sparkle bright, my eyes clear and a inward smile of how wonderful it is to be me in my power!
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We lose energy by having things incomplete around us. Although we may not notice it clearly, we are drained by these open projects. To experience this drain, think of an area of your home where you walk by and a feeling of "I must clean that up" comes in. These are energy drains for us, as is a book that is unfinished or a pile of things to be put away. These may seem minimal but for your basic animal self, the doer of tasks, will drain your energy with an open cord until it is done.
This is one of the secret energy drains that is continually streaming through us and can exhaust our energy. We all know these spaces about us or within, that nag us in a subtle way. It is powerful for our vibrancy to keep these to a minimum. We can also just call them "complete for now" which supports our energetic being. If a book is unfinished or a task in process, when you put down the book or move the task a bit just say outloud, "this is complete for now". It may seem silly but it is a powerful message to your unconscious. Channels of energy remain open unless we close them. It is the same with memories, situations we are solving and emotional challenges.
This is something we can do each day, each month and I am doing this at the beginning of the year. This way we have more energy and focus for the things we are doing. In most schools of thought, we are exhausted by incompletions. All these little things on many levels add up to losing energy in big ways. It is the perfect time to start your practice of using this phrase to support you in self care. We have experienced the larger feel of this many times when we finally got something done that was weighing on us. In doing, completing, we get all this extra energy. Otherwise, we feel that "ugh" when we think of the project, idea, pile or emotional situation. This "ugh" powerfully lowers our vibration.
Today I made a list of the things that need to be finished. For a new year this is important to clear any lay around things from last year and the holiday rush. Simple stuff like changing my address at the bank, making a doctor appointment, moving my online class to the next step, writing this blog, putting soup in the freezer in small containers I made the other day. I want to paint my office soon and I have books that are calling me that I will pick up and put them down again and call them complete for now. This is such a valuable tool! Try it as you walk around your house and feel the power of calling projects complete for now even if they are in process. It is how our basic self is set up and we can easily work with it to recharge our energy.
Making this a habit, this practice of noticing what is incomplete when you feel tired is a good way to reclaim energy. It is how it works. We don't need to fully understand it other than the mind and body stay open with energy for things that are in process. We can easily reign in the energy, know when it is time it will move and that until then, you need not lose focus or concentration from our world. It is a powerful tool that supports us being in vitality and clarity. Every so often I do the list to see what small drains are plaguing me that I am unaware of. Once I make the list, just that it is on paper, I begin to get this subtle feeling of control and power.
Simple, easy, graceful way to keep yourself energized and flowing. Completions are important self care. When you finished the open lines, it is elating and euphoric pleasurably!
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Boundaries are a topic that could be chatted over and over again. We all need to learn the best ways to care for ourselves and boundaries support us on many levels. As I am doing the 30 days of self care, this has come up many times. As a nurturer, a team player and one who supports humanity, this can be a challenge for me. If someone needs support, asks to play, wants me to particpate, "Yes" is the automatic response that occurs. This can be good for I am inspired or it can be not so good for I have others things that would support me better. Finding that line in each situation is key.
We have been trained to put others first, especially woman. It feels good to help and support others as well. There is a time when helping others gives us a feeling of "ugh" as we reluctanly do it. These are the times we need to feel that "ugh" and care for ourselves. That could mean that helping will create greater strife, resentment or imbalance. Later you have an expectation on someone you helped. It is your intuition supporting you with a feeling to notice and be cautious about the answer. I have over ridden this so many times only to say, you knew you got a signal and you didn't honor yourself by listening.
Each moment and situation is different. Be present in the moment and listen to your being. Some days I love to support, others I feel obligation. Some minutes I think "no" then a half hour later I feel a "yes". Tune in for this is yourself alerting yourself what is your highest good and where your boundary of support is. Just yesterday a friend asked me to do something. I wanted to support but was too tired. After I got up and moving, I suddenly thought, "I would like to do that" and ended up participating. It was great for me to and I got lifted from it. At first I said No and honored myself only to have it change. We are spirits and energy moving so pay attention. You can always change your response.
During this month of supporting me, I have encountered many situations where people wanted me to do something. Sometimes I went against my feeling for I heard the call for support and responded "sure." Some didn't work out. Others I did listen inwardly. I watched how many times my "yes" came out immediately without checking in. This was not a good way to proceed. I should always check in with myself to see if I have the energy to do it and if it feels good. Learn these boundaries.
I seem to be a magnet of these situations this month. I am indeed a caregiver so it has been a good observation to watch how I say "yes" so quickly. Saying 'no' does bring up beliefs that maybe I am not a good friend, or sister or partner. I go past that to see inwardly what I feel rather than the messages of life that go against me doing things that fuel me. It is part of this self care transformation I am in. I honor it.
Empaths especially are challenged in the boundary area. Yet what good is a gift if it exhausts you from yourself. I hear and feel others but must make certain that I have the overflow and desire to support. Otherwise, it is not good support to them or for me. Hurts, expectations, resentments come into the picture if you don't listen to yourself. I am learning this clearer and finding ways to really know what is right for me. I need to be strong to forge through all of life and I have responsibility to know how to do that. Otherwise people think you are limitless and you allowed that. No one is limitless.
Durga is the Goddess of boundaries and she fiercely defends herself, allowing in only what will nourish. We all need to embrace her within. Know when you can help, play or participate and when it is not a good idea. She protects herself and has many hands of support for she is strong and loving. She has the strength and courage of the lion . Your body, intuition, mind, emotions clearly alert you. Pay attention. Magical Self Care!
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Having some spiritual study, connection or practice is self care. I don't know how I would make it through my life without this. I may be extreme compared to most but it so delights me to recharge myself. I am an initiate and minister in the MSIA. It supports me to know myself and my brilliance. It resets me. It helps me to be a better version of me. My practice is about connecting with my creator and the part of me that is pure and innocent. That loves. That is living love. We each experiecne this differently and I allow others that and find my path for me.
I had a powerful reminder of the power of this the other day. I was in normal life stuff, where there was drama, judgement and criticism toward me and my actions. I went inward and felt I was okay that what I was doing was settled with me. However, the outside, the others and hearing their ideas made me start to second guess myself. My mind and emotions wanted to take me down this ramble path that I just couldn't seem to get out of. You all know these times. I was tied in all the emotions and thinking of others as well as my own.
There was an opportunity to go to a Soul Awareness Seminar Friday eve. I knew if I went I would clear myself and find support by just attending, being with other like minded and be able to free myself or surrender whatever this Karma was. I went. We gather, put things into the Light and watch the now passed founder of the movement chat about whatever topic the seminar is. We picked one on completion and I thought perfect.
After the seminar, I was sailing in loveliness. People get this from church, meditation, retreats, prayer, so many ways we can connect with our divinity. As I left, driving away, I was so grateful. I was thanking God and Goddess for the reset back to Lyn. I was back to myself, my sparkly spirit, filled with joy and peace. Whatever all that mess was of the week, was gone. It just didn't matter anymore. I was so thankful for my studies, my school, my spiritual connect. Just as easy as going, listening and asking for support, I was back to me. The mind settled, The emotions warm. The body out of anxiety. The spirit of me in full joy.
I invite you to use your connection to whatever your spiritual study, religion, practice or faith. It is self care par excellent. It completely cleared me and reconnected me to my joy and essential nature. It is magical. I don't always realize how powerful this is. It helped me care for myself, stand for myself and be comfortable in that even if those around me are not. We won't please everyone but we must settle and please ourselves. It was delicious and today I feel exalted.
Yesssss, delicious self care day 18! Powerful support!
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Lyn Hicks’ passion is to awaken others to their true joy through play and relaxation! Mentor, Teacher and Writer on The Feminine Way of living!
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