Love of My Life!

Today on this day of love, when St. Valentine stood up for love and actually lost his life, I have a deep appreciation for love. Many have a special other which is not my fate this year. Yet I am not bummed by that reality at all for I am blessed with so many about me, men, woman, family, that sent me grand blessings on this love holiday.

For me this special month of love, February 2018 is all about love of life, my life. I feel filled with love today and it seems to relate more to myself, my journey and my shift toward a new direction. For 4 years I have been on a path of transition. It has been a challenge yet I finally am settled into the wonder of this new way of being and living.

I feel great love for myself for walking forward in the world with humor and silliness as I attempt to create a new life. I feel the truth of love of self for all my accomplishments. Nothing big as of yet has happened but it is the little things that have had significance. I started this journey feeling like a deer in the headlights, scared, anxious and moving in panic to recreate. Now I feel ok with uncertainty, with odd days of intermingling with what comes forth, able to see the small delights in a way that inspires me to keep going forward. Not sure where I will land, often tumbling along, yet secure in a new way within.

I seem to have a different perspective on abundance than ever. Not lost in the collection of things, but in the collection of exciting experiences and absurd delights now measures of plenty. I seem to make it through some hairy situations with grace and ease that I was so fearful of at first. I ask for support realizing I have helped so many and others can get the experience of giving and feel that joy by supporting me. At first this was a challenge for we are trained that we are less than when we need help. Now I see that getting help supports others to give when maybe they wouldn’t feel that power if I didn’t’ need it.

I feel more grounded in my body and the love of the wonder it offers when I truly embody myself. I enjoy the sacred vessel  I was gifted with all its curves and even wrinkles. I walk through the world in a sensual manner that gives me the joy of having a body. It isn’t how it looks but how it feels to be in it. The pleasure I have in my body is healing. We usually just consider pleasure in sex or connection but I have learned to really ride in my being to where pleasure is everywhere when I truly engage in my senses. It brings me more presence, joy and giggles daily.

I feel love toward the world in a greater way. I see so many in strife and hardship that I can’t help but appreciate the miracles of the beautiful sunsets, the beautiful snow, the magic of ice crystals on my car, the smile of a stranger, the beauty of a sweet child in all their innocence. It all has a richer feel to it the lightness about. You have to look for it and be out of the ramble mind or you could miss the small miracles that present themselves.

I enjoy greatly meeting the new folks in the healing arts with incredible and, at times, absurd appearing gifts. I get to support them in sharing their brilliance with others and then participate in watching them heal others. It is a magic world the healing and expressive arts. To watch people come to a class in strife or less than wonderful moods, and then see their eyes sparkle and light filled presence as they leave.

I find magic love in the dark corners too. I see the moments of love shared in the hardest situations where a kind touch or healing words shift the whole room. I see laughter heal and lighten up the scariest of situations and challenges that seem to frighten. I get the gift of being with others no matter what is occurring. That support lifts, lightens and inspires others to take yet another step or cry their way to a giggle. Love seems to be everywhere if you look.

No, I don’t have all my answers. When others ask me what I am doing I say, “flowing” rather than some 3 minute elevator speech about my direction and gifts. Yet there is this joy in my heart that sings me knowing I am helping. In small and big ways, I am making a difference to those I encounter. It is a different look at love and life but it is working for me. I find many bright moments in a given day and for me that means success. I am a success at what I attempt to do. I am making the world a brighter place and practicing living love.

In celebration of this month of love, I must say, yes I am loving life. Even the crap I am growing through, learning to see how to lift, finding a way to a smile as I finish my days in my cozy bed. I look over my days and see that love is about me, in me and shared by me.

That is a successful valentines day as wonderful as the sharing it with a lover. It is a spicy inward love that fills my soul. Love has so many forms and I am blessed to get to experience these. 

Yes, love is a delicious joy that is found in many ways. I invite you to expand your ways of seeing, being and experiencing love. I have found it is an plentiful emotion that moves mountains.