Loving Your Life!

The greater my experience of life, the more I realize present awareness is truly the ticket to loving your life! You have to love all that it is, right here, right now, in all its beauty, abundance, craziness, confusion, strife, challenge and adventure. Just love whatever it is, in this moment!

I am really opening into my new life after divorce, struggle to re-creation. Reflecting on what it is I know, am and want to share in this world. I feel magical most days. I feel mean other days and frustrated with things.  Bewildered, confused plenty and over indulgent too. I have come to realize this is life which contains it all. We are not wrong or uncool if we are a mess.  There is no perfection as they portray it yet it is all perfection in a different way.

I find magic by loving all that happens even if I am saying so in a pissed off tone.  It isn't about loving just the lovely things, but loving the ugly ones too that allows  this whole experience to be magical. We need the villains, the drama, the unpleasant to have the heros and saviors and bright shining ones!

Today as I write this, is one crappy day. I awoke after a restless night, had digestive problems extreme, felt toxic and sick. My brothers both in a Hail Mary procedure to support my very sick brother. I got the hourly update from one brother on this toxic process of my other. Depressing information. Fortunately, a meeting I had was rescheduled for I was not into collaborating. I lollygagged in a bewildered, odd way all day. It was low, yucky at times. As fate would have it, a silly friend unexpectedly showed up for minute. I was laying in bed midday kind of crying and listening to a healing meditation so I jumped up and put on lipstick to entertain. Yikes but thanks for the diversion! It was just a mismosh! I had productive ideas of how to promote being a magical woman, ate almost 3 biscottis to illness and drank way too much coffee, (decaf atleast). 

Despite it all, the low sickly vibe of the day, I embraced that this was my state of being  and loved it anyway. Instead of not feeling the crap, using escapism of sorts by doing something other than roll with the mess, I just participated in it. I did what I could. I flowed with what was. I went from one thing to the next with no plan. I ordered my second bedroom in a fog, did all kinds of random things in my discombobbled state. I embraced it. Went through the emotions, tears, laughter, brilliance and self indulgence. I just lived it exactly as it was and as it flowed.

I still feel a bit blah, with a itchy rash on my chin, writing while sitting on my big bed when I should just sleep, yet somehow, I love my life. I love this dark kind of day too. I can only embrace the high joy and ecstasy I have because I embrace this unloveliness. In it there was a friend who made me laugh, I spilled creamer all on my stove and down in it which was challenging to clean but I just had to laugh. Of course, I made a huge mess and then had to clean it for these are the things of hard days. I imagine it could smell tomorrow when I cook! But I kept flowing, being open, receiving of whatever was to come today and make due.

We always forget that the strife is a contrast. It makes joy feel really good if you have felt really bad. You have to be creative to find the silver linings and be imaginative to giggle at big mistakes. You have to be okay with yucky states. They are part of us, we feel pissed, throw ourselves pity parties, get lazy and can be downright nasty in our heads with annoyance or frustration. These are all part of our lives and to love it all is to be more present and neutral about the mess. 

There were a few times I tried to see if a state shift was necessary but every time I did, I just knew it was to be one o those days so just embrace it fully. Life is just a drag some days. There is no bad about it or way to shift your feelings. You need to process this yuck and be okay with it. I am ok with it. I embrace my low days too. They give me a chance to just be and not be "anything else but my human condition. It kind of feels good to just love it. To not judge it or want to escape it, just be in the muck and mire knowing it will be different the next day. Unless I carry it forward, it is gone.  In experiencing the beness of things, you don't. You complete it as it is. You move on, let go, know it is just part of this planet and that everyone goes through this.

The key to it all is to be alright with it. That is why I say love your life. I love my life as it is. Filled with it all. In loving it all, it seems okay that it has mess in it. I am not trying to make it look like this or that. Or pretend I have myself all together every moment. Or pressure myself to get happy quick. I just roll through and find humor where and when I can. That makes the less pleasant days loveable. Yes, allowing, being present to what is with no wondering why, rolling through the "shitty" things and getting to the end with a chuckle. Yes, I do love my life. I love all of it. And that is the magic right there. Love it all!!

​A spell, intention with great power! And today, I feel energized again! Here is a writing I got in my email this morning that offered the same idea!

​"The prime purpose at a physical level is to maintain your health for as long as possible, but there is another core purpose built into us - to evolve. For a human being evolution means creative uniqueness. We are each born with a creative purpose that no other human being carries. If you are to release your true creativity into the world, you must meet your own dark side. In other words, you must at some point face your deepest fear of death.
 
To be total in the sense of this Gift means to live without allowing your mind to dictate your life. This is life lived for the moment, in the full knowledge that life purpose can only be found in the present moment rather than the distant future.
Whereas Totality means to live life to the utmost, Immortality means to die into the everlasting moment. To do this, your sense of identity and separateness must first die, leaving only life in its place. Once there is no localised centre of awareness, there is no death because there is nothing to die. Only consciousness remains, moving from one form to another endlessly."

- The 28th Gene Key, the Shadow of Purposelessness, the Gift of Totality and the Siddhi of Immortality