The Tantra of Harmonious Relationships

Relationships can be our biggest energy drain as well as fuel in life. It takes energy to continue to connect, make time, get along and experience others. We all know that it involves work to have good relationships. As I was taught in Tantra,  they are meant to expand us in beautiful ways. There is a dance, a rhythm and a way to use this energy to create harmony and fueling through them. 

We all know this fueling and ease we have with others. It is the goal of two in any type of relationship. Often things begin this way and then later we find it is not so easy. There is growth and sandpapering as we call it often in relationships which adds to the blending and expansion. However, there are times where a situation has outlived its support. We don't need to feel bad as relationships change. We do need to review our connections and see when and where our true support comes from and if it still is supporting us.

Often we rely on loyalty for things that have been around for a while. There is greatness to this but not every relationship needs to stick about because of length of time. We all grow and change through life and so do our friendships, partnerships and work mates.  It is our responsibility to put our energy and effort towards things that fuel and enliven us. If a connection that at one time was very valuable has lost it's value in giving fueling energy, it is time to move on. I found this most challenging for I have know many of the same mix for over 35 years. On this new leg, many are not really in my circle as they were at other times. It is ok. Longevity doesn't always make for a fueling friendship. We can get caught in energy drains here easily. Pay attention to your own use of connection and influence. 

We have relationships that are necessary in life with work or perhaps family that we are required to participate in. If they are draining, be  conscious to see how to interact differently for the least exhaustion. These are just present and we work with them.  When we get to pick our connections, it makes sense only to stay in the ones that truly circle the fueling. We have these necessary challenges in some areas. So chose  only those you find supportive and energetic toward who you are  when you can. This changes as you change. A revisit towards relationships is important if you want to use your energy wisely.

We all know when we kept someone around that we were whining about or felt exhausted participating with. If this continues to occur, let them go. The fall is the perfect time and energy to let relationships that have no refueling value go. I am not talking about friends that need more at one moment and you the next. That is a positive circle of connect that goes through rhythms. It is the plaguing ones that exhaust you that you can allow to fall off so newer people can come in.

It is a very important part of our experience being with others. If you are not getting fuel from relationships you are missing the boat on the expansion they offer. We are in charge of our energy and where we put it. Relationships are powerful fuel and equally powerful energy drain. Take the inventory to see if you could cut loose any ties to others rather than complain on how they treat you, exhaust you or take advantage of you.

I inspire you to be clear on the tantra dance of harmonious relationships. There is great power in like minded, joyful connects to support you. Be sure that if you put time into others, you are both well served. It will get more vibrance in your step when you only carry about you those who fuel your life force.

Lyn Hicks
Playful Priestess and Magical Muse