The journey to freedom is an interesting thing! I think for the first time in my entire life I have full on freedom. I wouldn't of known I didn't have full freedom before until I truly was alone and making full choices for just me. I thought I had freedom and we do on many levels but this Lyn freedom I have since Erika moved is quite the expansion.
I was getting a Christmas tree yesterday on my own and I realized I had never done that before. I'd be with my daughter or we would do it as a family. At first I was not so excited. As I looked at trees, I felt a loss of no one helping me. I felt stuck in deciding, I didn't know which one was best. It was an enlightening moment like so much of this Colorado life. I felt the loss and self pity that comes in and then a new feeling came over me. I felt the glee that I could pick the exact tree I wanted, no compromise..... and joy filled in. It may seem simple but I have had so many experiences of this and felt quite lost at first. So much of life is made up of choices that involve others well being. Your husband, your friends, your social groups, your children. When you finally get the full freedom that we all say we want, it is not so joyous at first. It turns out joyous but in those moments as you shift from the many to the one, there is a lag or loss moment. I think it is just how woman are. We are of the collective and group so often. That is why self care, doing for ourselves is such a challenge. Yet it is the very way to fill ourselves so we can give more potently. Fill yourself first so you can better serve others is a minister rule and a rule in life. If you are so beat down serving, you are not serving at all. You are martyring and really, no one cares. If we don't take the time first to fill ourselves, know ourselves and take care of ourselves we are not using the feminine power we have. No one knows how to fill you the way you do. It changes also depending on where you are depleted. So how can you expect others to know how to care for you? Fast forward to being alone. I have so cared for others first and put my opinions and ideas on the back burner that now I am stepping into really knowing myself at this new time. At the elder years this is the great fun! Everyone makes it so bad with the menopause, the empty nest, the lost in space. Yes we do go through that but it is really a rebirthing of ourselves. At first this freedom is quite scary. Like we are looking for the box we've been in and it doesn't exist. We look for the sides, the references and we seem lost on our own. But in a bit, the joy rolls in. I do not plan to be alone long or is it my destination but I feel I am here to know myself deeper. It is truly a gift and I travel through the experience. Loss, sadness, then an openness, a creative discovery unfolds. Knowing myself for the next relationship, friends and opportunities that will come in. Many find animals, other people, other "helping" to fill in to that care giver role and in the end do a disservice to themselves. I've done this too! It is a rebirth for midlife woman that can be so expansive and joyous. It takes the moment to shift from the group consciousness to the me consciousness. It doesn't mean we will even be there long but to have that feeling of true freedom. I have chosen freedom to be my word for next year. After the Christmas tree moment, I get freedom in a more comfortable way. It seemed big and scary before. It felt undirected and chaotic to me. Almost too open. We exclaim "I want freedom" but it is a solo road. It is an inward road to me. We are on a planet with others so the connections, the ties are very healthy for us. Who we bring to the table is very important too. As we age, more freedom is available. More desire to make an impact for some. I enjoy this small freedom and have created a life that will bring me abundant freedom. I am truly exploring freedom on all levels. You must also expand your container as the box is broken out of. A new container comes in and you pick the sides more to your delight rather than to others ideas. Only to break it yet again. For me it is a rich moment. It is a turning point in embracing this moment of me on my own. It is juicy with possibility and I have such a good path lined up. I love the things I am doing and I am impacting others in a big way with water. As I settle into this new Lyn I am, I will draw all the right things to me. The partner, the leaders, the inspired, the world changers. I have to fill my own new container with me first. It is a joyous moment to celebrate. Hydrogen Rich Water Non toxic Lifestyle Set Up a Coaching Call
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