What would someone do who loved themselves?

tAs woman, we make many choices for our group, family, relationships. It is our make up and we are nurturing beings. We go through so many phases, lives really. Death of one role to shift to another. We often have many others that we consider when we make these choices. As we round to the mid life time, these people drop out. Our children grow, different groups of friends emerge, no longer hanging out with the parents of others. Maybe a divorce, so your group changes and rather than married friends, you find yourself about others single.

We have time to engage in hobbies or delights, parts of ourselves that we didn't have time for. I moved and had to regroup with others. I sought friends that are older with their kids grown. Business partners in the same phase of life. Others with sustainability, health and beauty, holistic lifestyle choices. Just as we became moms or career people and met others in those places, we get to birth again another vain of connections and relationships. 

At this phase we get to choose for ourselves. Loving ourselves fully, we reassess commitments to things and what is working or not. Many move to areas they always desired, some get divorced, some create a biz or get a new career. Still others do volunteerism or charity work. We get to choose new ways and people. I find my whole life was a continual morphing of roles from one to another. We are wifes, then moms, business leaders, brownie leaders. They continue to shift as our values do. 

This question "What would someone who loved themselves do?" came from Teal Swan. This question is a powerful one.  If woman could embrace this question throughout all of their lives, I think they would find they fair better in happiness. We do love to nurture others but have been trained often to do it at the cost of our own love of self and issues begin. Maybe it will change as we all embrace it earlier along the way. Asking this question really starts with ourselves then moves to others so we too, are in the mix. The martyr or power it through attitude is unhealthy for woman. We can not be fulfilled truly until self love is our standard as we make any decision. 

Even when I am in hardship, which has been the case many times, asking this question is the best way forward. It will bring up your learning and your triggers for certain to clear your ideas of how to be fulfilled in life. At different times, we answer this question very differently. As mid lifers, this is a great way to begin your new chapter journey so daily fulfillment and pleasure , joy can be the way you ride. 

This is a new unlocking i am playing with that I feel is powerful and potent. We don't really think enough about ourselves or atleast I didn't. I really put so many first, culture, tradition, ideas of what is correct ahead of what would truly satisfying me inside with glee. I think many of us don't know ourselves very well and at midlife, it is the rebirthing to really know yourself with out all the constraints of others. You could find more others to care for or you could really step into caring for yourself and that alone would support others in magical ways. Where ever you go, your joy filled self with naturally vibe out the pleasure, fulfilled energy and others would get some by overflow. 

We do not need to learn how to nurture others. We need to learn how to put that onto ourselves more so we fill, build up our shakti energy to nurture others. It is a within, without deal that we seem to keep missing. A practice of asking ourselves this questions for every decision would change our entire world and energy. 

This question I have  been asking myself and it has shifted everything about me. The way I do things has a different energy to it. I am not looking at the world as what needs to be done or who needs support. I often seemed to do that and attract many needed others. The buzz we get from helping others is good but it is not always something that will fulfill us. It is needed, necessary or somehow we put these above ourselves and what we want to do. Making choices based on loving ourselves first has a very different feeling and flavor. 

Even in crisis, I find rather than panic and do action from need, I relax and just take a moment. Maybe a bath or a hobby. Something that will fill me so I can better manage the issue. It is not how I did it before as I would panic and move to solve the issue. Doing what would give me self love first, has a very different outcome and energy. All the anxious action and panic we do it missing the feminine way.

When one is in trouble, we nurture them. We love them and give them attention and a moment to breathe. Maybe encouraging words or a shift by just listening and being with them. Imagine if you just do that for yourself. Simple enough yet not used for ourselves as we do for others. As master nourishers, we should know how and when to nourish ourselves easily and properly. I find I am really learning this in a new way during this midlife and beyond phase. It is different than before and I have less others to consider. 

I hope you too begin to put this in practice. It is a beautiful, loving, feminine approach to your life. If you are choosing any thing, consider what loving yourself would choose. This is a magic key. I think we will find ourselves more quickly by asking this question of ourselves than most anything I have come across. It is a powerful yet easy,  small shift that can really add more relax, calm, oxytocin and clarity in life. It is the slow down question that is needed. It is the nervous system reset that everyone is looking for. 

May you start shifting your world and take the responsibility for your own filling and pleasure. It only supports others as you are filled to help. It role models good choices  as well as lets you get to know yourself better.  What choice would I make if I really loved myself? it is a powerful reset and the answers you get are much more blessing for those in a new chapter. 

​Blessings as we learn this easy key of femininity. Reach out to my coaching program if you want support to find a more powerful way to live celebrating yourself and overflowing to others.