Today I am romancing myself and my world by being still. It is not something I am so good at. In fact, I find it very hard yet I can't move. It is funny. My mind is chatting at me saying do something, get up and go and all I will do is write about it. I am at a crossroads in this new year of where and how to move forward. I do not want to just do for the sake of doing as our world has taught us. Go be ambitious, make money, act, move and be productive.
Something else inside is asking me to be still and just sit. Sit and listen. Await til the true, in spirited movement causes action. Action of inspired, angelic, rightful force. Await the directive of clear, pure inspired action. I am writing this feeling of bipolar energy flowing. My mind wants me to move, my body wants to rest. My emotions turbid trying to make sense of this dual impulse. I want to do for the highest good. I want to move with great power and direction. I want to participate in a way that sings my heart and be moved by the deep soul inside me.
What action other than writing still is not clear. There is a pain in my heart that wants to unlock and I know not how to do it. Move, sit, get up, stay still. I am restraining myself. I don't know how to make sense of it other than my heart, my chalice of spirit, of love within is burning something, allowing some cauldron action that I am not sure of but experiencing. It is a wild mix of wanting to move but not knowing how.
So I sit and write, observing, feeling the movement within. Knowing something is happening as I sit and write. Not sure how to use it or be good with it, yet experiencing it. My crown spinning, I filling with energy or light or spirit. Filling and filling with something so powerful. Allowing it. Opening to it. Being present with it. Not knowing what it is but feeling good with it. Intrigued by it and investigating it. Like the tarot card of Ace of Wands, Filling with blessing to where I could burst and want to over pour but don't know how on this plane.
I vowed to hold until I was sure what the next action would be. Still in the hold, still in the receiving, still in the do nothing but fill. Keeping my mind thoughts and my desire to move in hold until it is clear what that action is. I have spent so much life just moving to move. Being ambitious, helpful, striving, doing. Often to my own exhaustion and not always getting somewhere good. It is how we are trained to move, do, achieve. It is a busying. I don't want to participate in anymore.
I want to be fully inspired, aligned in action. That all of my being is in it and directed and focused. Where action is like gliding and dancing rather than effort and pushing. Inspired action they call it where you float on the energy of the universe aligned with a greater force. In 2020 I want to move like this rather than with just my own ideas and energy. I have done that enough and am tired. I know this is not the best use of energy or most powerful way to move. There are smarter uses of energy and I will sit until it gushes forth in me in the way I was taught to move in grace and ease.
As I do this, you hear my beliefs challenge me. Some pieces of me want to do as I was taught. They are powerful beliefs wanting to run me. I am challenging them in this moment for they are not the true soul and spirit I am. They are stories I have learned that want me to move for movements sake.
I will find the balance between this filling, this transforming and the right action that will appear if I endure and hold long enough. I know there is great action to be done yet don't see what it is. So I sit. I write. I share. I await the true direction I am to go. I allow this duality to exist in me as it does its thing. Very fascinating observance that giggles me. My feet firmly planted and going no where quite yet.
Awaiting the direction from within rather than outside. A tug of war. We need to listen more and do less. Then when doing, do aligned and in full force and laser focus. It is most efficient that way energetically but also in heart, mind and body all connected. It will come. I will wait. I watch it all settle into direction.
A new way is dawning. I will lead in this way. I will listen first. I will guide others to as well. It is how enthusiasm, en theos, in spirit is expressed and moves mountains.
Being curious supports a joyful, expanding life! Children are very curious and lets face it, no matter how old you are, you are truly a child within. Our current world doesn't support this child like nature that we are. We are taught to be serious, adult like and quite stodgy. I am not good at that so I don't even try anymore. I embrace my Child Like Empress for it makes life more fun, pleasurable and exciting. Although I have more experiences than youth, I still am youthful in spirit. We all are.
One of the most expanding qualities is curiosity. The open, learning, investigative heart is what we really are. Limits harden our minds and perspectives. Nothing here is solid or stable. We are on a moving planet in a moving universe. Our bodies are filled with movement of atoms, liquids, shifting energy, digesting and converting all things. Flowing continually. So our minds, hearts and views are flowing naturally. Living with this truth creates a whole new world.
We are always experiencing and that creates change in our perspectives. Being curious with this. Live this. Eyes of a child is the most exciting view of the world. There is no fears, no limits, no know it all. It is a fluid view that is naturally investigative.
Wonderment! Curiosity! Openness! These are inspiring qualities. May you walk forward using these natural perspectives in life. Lots of things are shifting in the world These tools and views support you to flow in this new world unfolding. I am inspired by this and plan to use my curiosity to romance my life, myself and others.
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The definition of Romance on google is a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love. It doesn't say another person, a thing or situation. Just a feeling associated with love. It involves all kinds of love. A sound bite that inspires me into the magical. Romancing things is juicy, conjures pleasure and fun, enthusiasm and allure.
I want to go forward in this new year with more love in all ways. Romance describes the mystery of life I am claiming this year. Not only romance with a partner, or love of my child or friends. Or even love of what I want to have or be. Romance in all ways. Even beyond what I can consider right now. It sounds enticing and a worthy way to live life! Words have such power of vibe, emotion, energy in motion, I want to see where this idea for 2020 takes me and how it feels!
This past year had such transition and ending. My mom died, the last parent I had. I lost my job of 3 years. My girl is in another state creating her life, I have an new page open. I want to enter it like it is part 3 or something beyond another chapter. I want to be inspired, feel passion and power energy again. Romancing life sounds like exactly what we all need in this sticky, challenging world.
I don't want to recycle things I have done before or at least not in the same way. We get in rhythms and patterns that can become stale and uninviting. We know the rules, we know what to do to feel and be better but we get caught in a circle. That is why I needed a view, a word, an energy vibe that empowers me to seek and experience life differently. Romancing it intrigues me.
I vow to find ways to romance myself. Looking for expressions from another time that I never got to be. Live my mission as to inspire romance in all work and connections. Romance my friends, the random toll guy, the stranger who offers a smile, the situations I am in and myself. I know I can find joy in any place, yet at this juncture, I want some fun and delight. I have an open canvas as big as in my 20s! Being so open can feel confusing. This word "Romance" conjures a whole other vibe to me that I must investigate and see how life can bring me pleasure through it.
Definition 2 of Romance is...a quality or feeling of mystery, excitement, and remoteness from everyday life. I like that I can be in the everyday, yet with romance find that sense of mystery and excitement. I want to feel that toward myself and my future, as a mystery to unlock rather than a problem, plan or issue to figure out. Knowing there is magic, synchronicity, delight in the smallest moments and in large events. I want to cultivate that in as many ways each day as I can. Remember the mystery of life as I have already lived. It is exciting, adventurous and filled with it all. Being on the edge of my seat not in panic, fear or confusion but in enthusiasm, awe and openness.
This is my intention and word for 2020. To find "Romance" in all ways. To remember it can be that way. Not that every minute is fluffy but we can all recircle back to feeling mystery vs, uncertainty. Enthusiasm rather than fear or panic. Optimism vs. pessimism. We can recatagorize or rework our views by coaxing them along a more fluid, enchanting path rather than allow the external or our patterns to run us. I want to play with this Romancing idea and see how it shifts and dances me. What that means or how i can flow with it beyond a lover to be the lover of all things.
I inspire you too perhaps to adopt such a thought in this new decade. We are all so serious. Things maybe are serious but we need to add the poetic path to draw us out of bed. Something that juices us up toward life and seeing the good, beautiful and funny. I really like this idea of romancing life and myself. A worthy word to live!
Victimhood on so many levels is part of being a woman. Even if you are not feeling the victim, there are many woman across the globe in this challenge. The opposite or cure to this victim energy is mothering. Being the mother to yourself. Taking care of yourself fully on all levels. The Divine Feminine. The mothering of your femininity.
I realize part of the path for woman is to sacrifice for a collaboration in family or career. We know innately the power of the group and our maturity to grow into putting ourselves in that group. We, too, get what we want. We are to be factored in. Often, I see woman play the victim here. After seeing the martyr role for decades, we begin by not including ourselves, our sparkly spirit in creating. It is like this in mothering and at times this is the right choice. As our kids age and we feel unfulfilled, it is now our time to learn to mother ourselves. We birth ourselves as what to be next. Mothering each other as well supports the release of the victim.
In menopause and peri menopause, we are called to look at our lives, release the anger, unspoken words, times we did not feel honored. As the group leaders we often aquiesce for peace and calm, this can mistakenly not value our needs, Our relationships shift. No longer based on loyalty and giving too much or receiving to much. We together are maturing into a world where we are mothering ourselves so we can feel filled.
I know many things are written on this. Self care is a buzz word. This has great purpose and why it is everywhere asking us how we do this. We need to continue to hear and apply this deeper to our lives. Further still, to nourish ourselves and do that first. This seems to go against many beliefs. We keep clearing them for that is why we feel unfulfilled. We are looking in the wrong places for nourishment. We must ground into our bodies knowing for ourselves what supports it. Emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.
Being in a masculine, yang business world, we are evolving to lead with the yin side. The receptive, the openness, the giving to ourselves to feel able in this production world. We give ourselves permission to do what we want. Only we can mother ourselves. Other woman can reflect that to us and support us to transmute the beliefs that we are not allowed to value ourselves first. We say we know this yet do we live this? Are we really our own best friend and using all things in our environment to support us in health, beauty, love, relationship, career, etc. Are we queen of our dominions?
Do we have friends and others that truly support us? Do we live in healthy ways, appreciating our body, our movement, our food nurturing? Do we take charge and say no when we don't want to? We are allowed to say "no" if in our heart, it will create problems for us and our well being. This permission, allowance, accepting our needs and filling them by being in charge of all is in our dominion! How lovely to be queen in our own kingdom! We mother that to be. We are the ones whom claim that.
I find myself at this time realizing that it is only me and my purpose, path and joy that is in order. My daughter older, I divorced, a contractor and teacher, I am in full charge. I feel this inside me. It is not an idea which at others times just a thinking or thought. Clearing that codependency that happens in marriage and as a mom. Later this is changed by the very nature of life. Now I am feeling a grounding into knowing, I create what works best for just me. Even if I was in family or relationship, this is my responsibility. I had not taken that approach fully.
Discerning by listening to yourself first. Not shorting yourself as I often did as the woman of the house. We feel good helping others, it is our nature to do this mothering. Are we mothering ourselves as well as we could? This I am grounding into. This rooted feeling that the earth supports me. I begin there and support me above all else. We feel the world, create the group environments and often get overwhelmed by this empathic mothering nature. It all mixes up and we don't really know ourselves. I feel at this time we are grounding into a greater understanding of our power.
We are the mothers of all things, the masters of this yin energy. Connecting to this truth and grounding to mother ourselves. Using this energy for others is already occurring. The call to mother ourselves and other woman. For us to collectively give ourselves permission and reflect that to each other. Allowing us to change the paradigm of victim by mothering ourselves and each other. Stepping into the Divine feminine in a clear way that is receiving support from each other and ourselves.
We learn by knowing ourselves and our emotions. As we learn how we feel and realize these are ours to manage, we mother ourselves. We learn to support and manage others, our environments, and the spaces we are at. We must give and receive, get nourishing and get away from things that don't inspire us to be more of ourselves. Love and understand this me first, then observe the energies from there. Keeping my needs clear and making sure I am in charge of that. Not at the whim of others or waiting.
Our root chakra must be stable. We must feel safe. It is our job to only be in safe places. Only the things that create safety for us. We sink in and ground this safety to be ourselves more fully. The great mother, the divine feminine takes care of herself then her kingdom. We run the flavor of the world so we must feel good so it all feels good. We can't fake it. Our energy runs our spaces so if we want joy and nourishment, we create this for ourselves. NO other.
Together we strengthen the mothering of ourselves and thus the world. We support the clearing of the victim archetype. We feel safe if we are mothered, cared for, in safe places. Maybe we weren't but we can mother ourselves to be there now. I like this! I allow this to reorder me. The Great Mother. The Gaia, The Blessed Mary, The Lakshmi, Isis. We are supported by this energy and need to apply it to ourselves. And this self love and nourishing......feels so good!
"The Mother Archetype: Excerpts from Carl Jung
The goddess, and especially the Mother of God, the Virgin, and Sophia. Mythology offers many variations of the mother archetype, the maiden in the myth of Demeter and Kore; or the mother who is also the beloved, as in the Cybele-Attis myth.
The archetype is often associated with things and places standing for fertility and fruitfulness: the cornucopia, a ploughed field, a garden.
Because of the protection it implies, the magic circle or mandala can be a form of mother archetype.
The qualities associated with it are maternal solicitude and sympathy; the magic authority of the female; the wisdom and spiritual exaltation that transcend reason; any helpful instinct or impulse; all that is benign, all that cherishes and sustains, that fosters growth and fertility.
The place of magic transformation and rebirth, together with the underworld and its inhabitants, are presided over by the mother." The Art Of Being a Woman!
I believe that we all are shining stars! We all have this most delicious spark in us! Prior to Christ they called it the Christos of the heart. Living the path of love has always been revered and why Jesus claimed the loving Christ ideal for us to see! I so loved that for it is less gender specific, The love of the Blessed Mother. We all have this shining in us somewhere no matter what name we give it.
For me it must be fun and imaginative. I was given a great inner world that comes from this star in side me. I see it as a beautiful twinkle in peoples eyes, light of their smile, the glassy look of tears weld up. I see it everywhere in people and am blessed this is my experience. Seeing the light in others is a magical life!
I inspire that we look for this sparkle in others. It is what love, living love, living in love of life, the eyes of a child are all about. When you seek this most kind expression of others, you find it. It is in all situations and circumstances. Somewhere some thing sparkles at some point. In dark scenes as in fun! If we chose to live in this more and more, we would find the word to appear so different. For it all is a light perspective.
Have a fabulous celebration of the Christ birth we have today. See if you too, can birth your twinkle more brightly. It is the call of the season and it is there. The gift, the presence and our present to participate in light ways and share them with others. That is my call and in it I find the Christ, the birth, the Christos, the Blessed Mother light filling my spirit!
Glory be to you today, you shining star!
How do you sense where you are in relation to the world? We can get caught up in the running after ourselves. Our mind filled with this and that, our emotions rolling about and our physical body rushing to keep up. Truly being aware of your state is a great way to keep health and well being at its best. It also supports our beauty for rushed is not a good look. We must check in with ourselves often, throughout our day, cultivate present awareness. At least with how we feel think, feel and move physically.
To ground our spirit and have a bright experience in life, we need to be present in our bodies. Know how we are in relationship with all things of the world. You need to check in and also have a community, friends or family who support you to get back on track. They support you to stay true to yourself often with a reflection that " hey you need to pay attention". This latest escapade of shingles rash or whatever was brewing inside me certainly painfully made me aware that I am not managing my relationship to my health well. A friend today told me I was a negative influence, WOW! So we must really reflect on how we are relating.
In crisis it is hard but then most growth comes from it. So here we learn to till ourselves and plant back into the earth by seeing how we relate to life. Our health. Our friendships and relationships. Our finances. Our job. Our hobbies. Our self care really. How are you relating to the world. Is it working for you? Are you bringing in your spark of inspiration and creativity or weighing down on things or neglecting them. This crisis is a rebirth and time to reorder how I relate. It can only be done by checking in with yourself.
Indeed the illness, the friend, the victimhood I feel is the point. We are only ever in the victim role when we have not mothered ourselves. The Mother Archetype the solution to the Victim Archetype. It is of the first chakra, our root. If we don't feel safe in the world and take care of our needs or feel we can, we will express the victim, thrown about by the world. Whether big or small ways, our role expressed and the solution is to tune in and mother ourselves. We are strong powerful nourishing natures and we are not doing that for ourselves so we will not feel good, powerful or delightful to be around, lost in our turmoil.
Fortunate I am, to have strong people and body ailments to see where this was playing out in me. I felt like a victim these past years. Trying to find my new ground in the world. My mom got sick and died and I was mothering another woman down the same road all at once. This mothering of self was absent and since ultimately we should do this for ourselves, I failed to find the time. When your mother dies, I am sure there is great reorder in your mothering understanding and you no longer have a mother. It is your responsibility to fulfill that position and it is clear then. Their is a shift in ancestorial and dynamic energies of a family and it reorders all. There is definitely a check in going on inwardly, I see it is time to be alone and refuel.
I thank my body and my friend for the frankness and cosmic 2 x 4 that landed here. There are times when a snap out of it is in how we learn. An intercurrent as we call it in homeopathy, You need a strong reset to remember what you are doing. It is all good despite the pain and sadness I grieved out. We have to forgive ourselves and like ourselves even if the whole world doesn't. That is mothering of the Divine Feminine, to love it all. We are all responsible in a new way as the energies shift, to care for ourselves first so we don't inflict on others. If you do, you forgive yourself, make it as right as you can and move forward learning deeper how to set yourself up. You can't be the bright spirit you are so it is shared with the world if you are not clear with you first.
The ending of the year, is the time to really see what it has brought, how you related or handled yourself and what you can preserve in learning from it and move into expansion. What limits are you allowing to be experienced? Are you doing all the things that will make you feel good? Are you aware of how you are relating to the world? I did not feel good dealing with, like many others, the care and illness of a family member. We all may have this as a right of passage here. I inspire to lift all others in this victim role as I see I am not one. Things are not working well for I am not caring properly for them. Not watering the plants.
So check in often with yourself to see what is it that is really going on. As my friend said, we all go through good and bad and it just means it is time to grow. Crisis brings growth and new ways of being. My shell of Lyn as a daughter, as a sister and as an individual must shift from these circumstances of life. I am very thankful for the sight, the role I am being that is certainly not the vibe of my highest gift. This is how we learn and part of my teachings. We get off balance to get on balance and there is no judgement just consequences. If there is then let it be cleared. Look at it. See how you judged yourself, others, the situation, the world, that you come out with new ideas of how your relate to it all.
Part of the astrological energies are to cleanse us of skins, limitations, misperceptions that are not serving us at this time. I am certainly in reorder as are so many others. To take these issues that hurt my heart, find blessing and learning in them is why they are here. It is not bad, It is the universe supporting me to find a path more aligned and claim the beliefs clearly that I hold true. It is all good and what growth, trial and error are about. We mess up. We go over the edge. We do stupid things. We are learning and all is allowed. I too, must allow myself the "I lost it", as I do others. We are always learning how to be better and it comes in all ways.
I knew I was losing steam and not mothering myself. But somewhere inside I could not find the way to do that with my work load. Relate to yourself first and see how you are relating to other things in the world. Are you helping or supporting? On one hand I was supporting my mother but on another i was not supporting myself or my friend. It is really beautiful learning when you can take responsibility and know you are off.
I inspire you to see where you are not relating to the world in the highest. I imagine it will bring you back as me to the role of mothering yourself. If we are inflicting on others we are flailing, so to speak and that is the victim. "I have no control, oh I am so sorry I hit you, I am whipping sparks into the world that are not settled." We are in a great shift and knowing that we let in the things our world is made up of. If it is not supporting you, clear it out. Otherwise you will continue to roll down the path out of control. Clarity, self love, self acceptance and forgiveness your biggest tools.
Despite the recent events, I feel good as I write. My direction clear. My inward review and greater learning to mother myself first is just supporting me to clear where the victim is playing out in life. Having authority over yourself through really checking in and knowing your state is the only control there is. If we feel out of control, we will start wobbling and put out energy that is not supportive, Feeling unsupported myself, how could I fully support others? Finding safety in my new world. It is a process.
As I am in respite with illness and the most ugly rash, I can only consider to count my blessings. I have been in great overwhelm that resulted in this great clearing of illness. It started to come out on Thanksgiving as I was at my best friends to spend time for the holiday. It was delightful to rest, be around a family I love and participate in the New England snow. 2 Feet of it! We got snowed in as my illness and shingles really flaired. I was scared that I was not ok. Blessed I was with my dear friend of level head and came home safely afterward and got the meds I needed.
As I chill, care for myself with soup, do the things that we don't ever get to in our busy lives, I realize how grateful I am. Even with this mess, pain and fear that comes with illness, I feel ok. I know people want you to be down and believe me I have cried and been sad with this illness. It is not so much the illness as the death of those around me and the strife that preceds and comes after. Yet there is always a blessing. I have another friend visiting for work and enjoying that company, My house if full of holiday color and lights, cozy and calm. I needed to just do nothing but relax, healing treatments, reading and I am even inspired to write today. I have healing megahertz sound on, candles lit, I am free form writing clearing my being of all levels. Taking this time to tune into me.
As woman, we often are called to so much caring. It is our nature. We feel good to care and help others for we are created in the divine feminine, the nourishing nature. We just haven't learned the full rule of nourishing ourselves before we serve. We serve, we feel good, we do the tasks of care as it is our nature. Often life calls us to do things and be in situations that we really don't want but our nature calls us there for we are born to serve and support all life. However, we need to do this in overflow. Not by using our energy alone. We miss this and when we find ourselves depleting ourselves, putting the needs of others over ourselves to the point of illness, we have lost the great way of the divine mother.
We all try to stay filled as we support. I did not quite get it. I knew I was going down, tired and overwhelmed but it seemed It was necessary to keep going. I do not get upset with myself for this is our nature. I do realize now for the going through it, that greater measures are necessary for myself to be whole and healed. I am grateful that I am learning, understanding my own limits and listening inward deeper. These messes, failures to know the nourishing law correctly are part of the process. The feminine wisdom has been lost and our generation seeking to find it. So I too learn, even though I know the laws, how to live them in greater ways with each attempt.
The divine feminine is the Mothering Principle of nourishment. We must mother ourselves. Not waiting for our mothers or thinking another will do this. We draw on the mothering of ourselves, from nature, from the divine ones, from the Blessed Mary, from where ever you find it. It is in us. We are it. We must cultivate and use this for ourselves, not just others. We all need support, rest, renewal and love. We can only do this for ourselves and know our limits and our beness that works to keep us healthy and participating.
I certainly participated beyond what I am able. This illness a clear sign for myself. I willingly accept it as my bodies way to say, Stop! Back up! Lay down! Be chill and peaceful. Fill your well. So I do. I learn yet again and grow and expand into this understanding of myself. It is our process here and so we learn and embody the health and beauty that we are. We must watch and listen as we do to others. We need to hear our needs and release any thoughts or beliefs that say it is wrong to say no and take care of ourselves first. This is part of our path of our generation and for all woman before. There is no super woman who can do it all. it just doesn't exist. We must know how to care for ourselves as we do for others. It is new and different for us all.
I sit in gratitude for this reflection and learning of myself. I became a minister to understand self ministry which I believe many woman need to learn. I step deeper into my learning of me. Of my own unique things I need to stay healthy and feel beautiful and stay connected. And if I can't, then I step away and go inside to learn how to feed and nourish myself on whatever level there is. It is the magnum opus of life. How do I mother me to be my best expression in a world of so many ideas and information? I learn by trial and error and I use the error to preserve the wisdom.
I am thankful. I am learning. I am finding greater ways to care for me and thus others. I look back on the year and wonder could I have done something better or been more clued in. My answer is it went as it went. Now I have time to see what I could of done to support myself. I am not sure there is an answer or this was just one of those times where it was important to get illness and clear my being. All is in divine order so I take what I can learn and use it forward. Illness is not bad or wrong, it is just a message from our body. If we don't listen, the body does what is necessary to support itself. Illness, healing crisis a way to talk to us.
It is nice to not participate in the stress of the holiday and experience the soothing of it. The beauty of it. The magic healing that is there if we notice. I am blessed to see it for the love that it is. Not caught up in keeping up with anyone but myself. Feeling good at whatever I do slowly, gracefully and in nourishing of myself. I will slowly gather my gifts, attend events, marry a set of friends and engage in the holiday on a level that serves me perfectly.
The Blessings Already Are!
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Life comes at us with such force some times. Crisis, panic, sadness, challenge, all stress us to barely get through the day. This is normal. There is no landing where this experience of life is all blissful. Often we see things in cycles and we just must ride it out. In these times, finding joy, laughter, motivation and enthusiasm is a practice. There is a lesson in this of rest, rejuvenate and care for yourself so you can get going again.
Choice is always with us so we can rise up when we feel the intensity is too much. Self care, self compassion and self loving are the most important things we can do. Often another part of us wants to push, know, get out of the scene or deny the yuck we feel. This is far more detrimental than accepting the crap we are in. It is not lovely, there doesn't always have to be some reason or rational that the mind wants to have. Shit happens is the phrase and for good reason. We don't have to always claim fault, ridicule ourselves or berate ourselves for feeling bad and being unmotivated.
I feel like I have been under the shadow of death for a good part of the year. Watching two matriarchs go down as the circle of life has it. There is no mental rational that makes this feel good to participate in this. It is life. We all go through death and it is a heavy cloud about us. There is great pain and sadness in crisis. To be as healthy as you can through this, you have to acknowledge and accept that. You will not feel so full of joy and energy. In bad times we are tired, overwhelmed with emotion and we need a break of self care. It is the best path through it without getting further issues emotionally, physically or mentally.
Down time is not valued in our society and it is the very thing we need to recharge and reboot. It is also the way that we have vital energy when we are left fielded by life's experiences. The value and healing of self care is the only solution. Something we all know yet do very little of. It is as though we must pretend, buck up and get going again and that is not always our best way back into happier states. We have to go through the low vibe and ride to the other side. Otherwise the feelings, the low energy persists in the back ground until we allow it to pass through.
No one is excited to do this. No one wants to feel bad and experience sad, exhausted, overwhelmed emotions yet this life has plenty of it. To avoid is to allow it to persist. So hug yourself and go through the crap that you feel. Gently allowing this low energy to express for a moment by taking time to step out of life. There are so many options of self care. A bath. A walk in nature. A facial, a movie day. A nap. Self indulge in something that feeds you on the inside.
The rush through causes more illness and low states. Our body has it's limits and will fight us if we push it to far into the doing aspect when it is out of energy. So we call it a low time, go into caring for ourselves and know all changes. We will get through this hard moment as we have all the others. We can inspire rejuvenation and renewal by doing the self care. It is what you body, emotions and mind are calling for. It is the only healthy way through.
If we don't take time to rebalance when we have just gone through a crisis, we will add more issues of dis ease to ourselves. There is no way around it. As part of my reset through this dark year, I am nourishing myself in so many ways. In fact, I am not doing much else. I have stepped outside of doing anything other than the minimum. How long this will take and when it will end, I have no idea. I do know if I don't stop and regroup in ways nourishing. I will not be ready for anything good or even be able to revel in it fully with this exhaustion. I also realize that I can make bad choices when I push further as though I am fine.
We pretend so much of our lives rather than living them. Pretend we are "good" when we are not. It is not a healthy choice to live in vitality. It is normal to feel off at times. It is normal to be overwhelmed and angry that life offered us a not so delightful experience. To deny or pretend goes against our body wisdom and care. We have to see clearly, feel and find peace with the challenge of life. We learn, grow and appreciate the joy when we have been in the non joy. Don't fake yourself out or anyone. We are human and can only take so much til we get to needing a break from it all. Soothing ourselves back to enthusiasm.
Awareness of ourselves is a powerful elixir. Often minding our way through the world we go with no awareness of our body or feelings in a way that could support greater health and joy. We are not making up the world in our mind totally. We have many pieces to ourselves that we can be aware of and use as knowledge to get ourselves on track. Don't discredit your emotions, your body or your state. It is all you have to experience this plane. Give it some love, some attention and some tune it. That is multidimensional living. Rest, care and down time is part of it. You don't need to feel bad for noticing life sucks for the moment. You can gently care for yourself to renew through it. Knowing that your energy will replenish and greater joy is right around the corner.
This is how we get through the hard times. We notice, we feel, we sooth ourselves and we recover. Like the animal we are, we go sleep in our space and do gentle things until it has passed. Our mind needs to quiet down for a bit so the rest of us can catch up. It is the power of caring for you as you do all others. It is a powerful healing tool that is always available. We know it but more importantly, use it! It is your path back into an magnificent life!
We are not taught much of death but we have it all around us. In the old days where there was one dying in the other room as one was being born in another. Maybe we had a greater understanding of this circle. Or perhaps being on a farm with animals, seeing this life cycle often made us more comfortable with it. It doesn't have to always be death of a loved one either, death is in all forms. Could be a marriage or other relationship, a job, a way of living, a life cycle. Death and rebirth are all around us really. We still don't have a good relation to it or skills to cope. We need to find new ways to manage this.
Woman's bodies go through this cycle monthly. They are also usually the ones to deal with the situations of death and rebirth in our culture. Our body maybe has an innate wisdom to know what to do and to be there for others in all kinds of death and rebirth. I consider it is part of our nourishing purpose as we are the birthers of life. We can hold in these sad death like situations with comfort and care. Not really having answers to it but just being there with love for others. We want to shy away from this yet we are the ones who find ourselves helping in it.
I have been in a death cycle for 6 years with the ending of my old life. I lost many friends and my community from it that has been a great loss. I also supported friends with their mothers dying and at the end of this cycle, my mom passed unexpectly quick. So it seems this gloomy state has been about me for a bit. I had the recent death yesterday of a woman I cared for part time as she went through her last part of life. It is a bit overwhelming and sad. Sadness we are not so enthused to feel and try to stuff it, shift it quick or pretend it doesn't exist. For me that has not been an option nor do I feel it as a healthy approach. Death, sadness, loss, not getting the things we want are all part of this sense of losing people, places and things. It is part of life and healthier to feel. For it does transmute us.
Blessed I am to really revel and feel my feelings for it is the healthy way to manage through life. With the discomfort we have with death and loss, most don't give it the space. It can create illness and as I have learned, most illness comes from this unprocessing of feelings. They hide inside and create this dark area not dealt with, stagnation per se that can lead to dis ease. So for the last 6 years this gloom has been about me. I have had no choice but to deal with it.
I have discovered that there is also this richness that comes with loss that is very indicating of love. We wouldn't feel so sad if we didn't love things, people and circumstances. So this grief and loss is really just another facet of love. Heartbreak and sadness is not our favorite expression of love but we only have it if we had love in the first place. Oxytocin, the pleasure hormone of the parasympathetic nervous system is about in grief. The evidence of the love and the washing of the other side of it. We are actually in healing states when we cry, feel sad, miss things or others. This healing hormone is present and supports our body in renewal when we give into the sadness. We are healed and supported as we process our feelings. Not hindered in health.
I have also had much reflection as I finish this death cycle. A review of things comes from loss, grief and death that I wouldn't have do if I hadn't gone through it. Allowing this sadness to come forward brings the juice and gifts of things I loved. I have more compassion for myself and others. I value things differently from this reflection and find greater ease in the changes of life. It has not depressed me or condensed me but expanded my understanding of life and its unexpected shifts. Able to step back and see the good and bad, painful and liberating of the pain by actually just feeling and allowing it. Not getting caught in it but letting it be and move through me.
It also transforms how we see the surface of life. The superficial things that all seem to think matter. When death and loss is about, all those things leave. Hearing someone moan about traffic or another seems so trite. What we really value comes forward and life has a new, deeper meaning to be here. You let go of pieces of your littleness you have for you clearly see how ridiculous it is. You have greater compassion for others for you know not what they may be dealing with underneath. You have a greater connection to life, to being alive and less small thinking about all of it.
Judgement leaves too if you process your emotions. At death, all seem like little children. They are helpless often and their childlike nature of hoping their beliefs are true, that they don't really know what is next and even fear of a child seems about. They look so innocent and vulnerable. You can no longer hold anything against them in action or deed for you just have compassion for them as they will soon leave. Our fears of this come forward too and can be seen. Even in situations or things, this judgement can leave. Yes, it is hard to lose anything you wanted. But an acceptance comes in at some point and the whole judgement leaves you. You see more accurately and without all the mess. It is quite innocent and honest. Your feel free and open that it just is how it is and all are doing their best.
Quiet, crying, feeling low all seem fine things to do with this death cycle. I have learned not to bypass it only to find myself losing it at something small. I have learned the art of self care instead of just busying myself. Ironically, when you allow these to come forward, they don't last long like they do when you avoid them. They lie in hiding waiting to bubble up. You don't cry for more than a few minutes I have found and as I stated earlier, it offers healing oxytocin. You get out of fight or flight and actually create renewal. Tears of all situations come out and it really does feel good. We think it won't but it does. You make peace with sadness instead of trying to avoid it. Sadness, loss, are all part of life. No one gets away from it. So it is healthy to be able to process these emotions so energy isn't used to hide it. Greater joy can come in after it is cleared.
Sacredness to the process of life and death, rebirth has become very clear to me. You can't have new things or experiences without this letting go. There is only so much room in you and you will encounter many little and big losses in life. You don't take it as seriously if you go through it and feel it. It leaves sooner than later. Avoiding it creates alot of stress. Just going through this regular life emotion and processing creates a health and an understanding. All is sacred that is part of life. Your begin to really feel life in it's highs and lows. The highs are more valuable and delicious. The lows just are. We find sacredness to it all.
In being lost, in loss or confusion means that being found or finding your way is just the next progression. If you don't allow being lost, unclear, sad, you won't get to the next leg while you are stuffing it down. All is change and has it's way so you flow with it. Accepting your feelings, acknowledging them allows them to leave and new ways to come it. It is really quite exciting to feel these things for they go and higher joy comes in. Answers, support, clues and messages stream in. It feels quite magical that you can go low only to be lifted by outer sources. Invisible support comes in. It is very mysterious and fun.
There is a great richness of love that you know when you feel and process your loss. Life becomes colorful again in a way it never was. You grow and expand your depth and compassion for yourself and others. You find less small things being an issue in life. You seek support from the world in magic ways. You find yourself more ok with all that shows up. You learn to ride the cycle easier. I imagine some incredible greatness will come forth in this next cycle for me. I have learned alot in this death cycle that has inspired and lifted me to new awareness. I understand that love is all that matters in a deeper way. It makes me soften, kinder and more caring.
I inspire you to find the richness in loss. I have lost many of things, people and dreams in this cycle. I am not depressed or thinking life is not good. I am the opposite. I find simple inspiration that can lift me so high. I find inward comfort that I didn't have before. I am more accepting of all, mostly myself and my ups and downs. I appreciate life more deeply and know how powerful a smile or caring can be. All has great learning and great love in it. I wouldn't know these things without this cycle and the allowance of it to be felt and processed. I encourage all to dive into this for themselves. It is healthy. It is comforting and it can be releasing so new fun and wonder can show up.
I am enthused for this as it makes all life richer in all ways! Blessings to those in this, for it is like compost and has rich nutrients that you would never imagine! Feel, process, cry, be sad! It will transform into great joy and learning! I promise that! This I have experienced and am much lighter for it!
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We all have the ability to feel our environments and others for we are all made of the same stuff, energy. In fact, we already are using this empathic gift unknowingly in many cases. It is part of the gift of the 6th sense as well as part of being in a field of energy.
Our senses are the gatekeepers of this information. All our senses are tuning into our environments and others constantly. If we are not in our body, participating in our senses, busy thinking all the time, we miss all this information in our conscious awareness. Our body still records the sensual experience and happenings it is experiencing. We are unaware. Often we are minding and not at all tuning in to the sensory stimulation or radio waves of feelings. We are missing an awful lot of life and the environmental signals around us.
We are in this sea of energy, which is emotions, energy moving. How can we manage this gift of feeling? How do we know what is us or ours from what is another's? How do we discern this energetic world? This multidimensionality we are becoming conscious of? Many books are written on it and classes taught. I teach about it in my Awaken Your Magical Woman as well as wrote a chapter in my book, The Lotus Project, the Art of Being a Woman.
Most importantly, this is a process of learning. This subtle energetic nature has been happening our whole life. To become aware of something that is happening when we were unaware of it, is a practice and process. There is no one, two, three program to do it. To be masters of this emotional, energetic nature takes play and practice. This is our sixth sense to consciously tune into invisible fields of energy through sensing. It is developed and we learn as we do it.
That said, there are a few important factors to keep in mind. Do know it is a practice so I offer that you play with becoming aware of yourself, your feelings. The first part is to know your own emotions! You must know what you are feeling, when you are feeling it and be very accurate with yourself. Often we stuff down feelings, hide them, say we don't feel something when we do. We hide it from ourselves. No wonder we are confused! Have awareness of yourself and tune in. Know your own feelings and pay attention to them. Notice when you sense anger and annoyance or frustration or joy. Most people have no idea what they are feeling until it blows up in intensity.
If you get tuned into your own feeling, your energy vibe, then you can tell what others energy vibe is because you know what it feels like. Anger is anger, joy is joy, no matter who feels it. We all have the same emotional frequencies. We may not know why one feels the way they do but we can certainly feel the feel of it. Knowing what anger feels like inside, allows you to sense anger in others. Body language helps yet most often people hide their feelings.
To one tuned to empathy, you can't hide for it is a frequency in the room. If they know what that frequency feels like, they know when it is present. If it is not their feeling, then they will know it is the others. It is basic but takes skill to know your own emotions and frequencies of them. Then you can easily decipher yours from others. People often deny their feelings and are unaware.
How to protect yourself and all else must first come from an awareness of knowing you and your state. Not what you think you feel but what you feel. Then when you co mingle with others, you know your state and then can start to sense their state different than yours. Sometimes it is obvious. As woman, we feel a room without thinking. It is so natural that we don't even realize we are doing it. As we embody this emotional mastery, it makes the world a whole new magical place and we can read it in more clarity.
If you know your own emotion, when go near another, you can perceive them. You can start to see how environments and moods of others effect you. You can watch the play of energy around you. You have to be aware and observing, not minding. Our mind often tricks us or is in thinking so this sensing can be missed unless we are embodied.
Often we take in energy, feelings of places and people and then try to get rid of them like they are our own. It doesn't work and it could circle us into anxiety or depression. Trying to fix an emotion or state that is not ours can't be done. An easy question if you are in this wondering why am I so "whatever feeling" when it seems to make no sense is to ask yourself, "Is this mine?" Yourself will quickly answer you with whose it is! So it is easy to then let it go and move back into yourself. Just one simple question, "Is this mine?' If it is not then, "Whose is it?"
The last thing I will share for now about this gift is the purpose of it. We have empathy so we can know what people need without them asking us. As babies have needs, we sense what they are without them voicing it. We have this magic, built in, sensing mechanism that is always noticing our environment and others feeling or energetic state. It allows us to nourish others easily, designed by our very nature. It is a tool of compassion and service. This gift allows us to support others around us by tuning into what we are sensing and then offering what is needed. Healers often have a very developed gift with this.
The issue that we run into, happens when we ride in the harder emotions with others. Our gift can use us instead of us using it. For example, both my parents died of cancer. So if I talk to one who has cancer or has a family member that does, I know what that whole situation feels like. As they begin to share, I sense with empathy my experiences of it. I know what they need at that moment. I know the nourishing solution that will help them. So I feel, empathize with them and then I drop the gift and offer what I know will help. This is using my gift rightly.
Often, we empathize and go into our own past experience as they are sharing their current experience and that is where we go wrong. It is not a gift to relive our past while another is in crisis. It is a gift to connect, walk in their shoes for a moment, long enough to have compassion, know what they need and then drop the connection. Otherwise we are both now in very low vibe together and sinking further. If I don't go into my old emotion of when I was there, I can use my higher vibration to offer love, support, what is needed to lift them. If I allow myself to revel in my past tale as they tell theirs and stay in their shoes, we both get more in crisis. Do you see that little nuance that shifts using the gift and being used by the gift?
The cool thing about this sensing is that we can also ride others joy, success and enthusiasm! It works with positive emotions too. If I am down and ride someones up, I can lift myself through this empathy. Not by taking their energy but by feeling the vibe and letting it lift! Unconsciously we are doing this for it is all energy. I don't consider energy vampires. Most people are so unaware. They are just naturally feeling higher vibrations and the law of nature is that two vibes will medium out. So you go low, another goes higher. This can be easily stopped with awareness.
This is when boundaries come in. We offer others our high vibe when we chose to and if we don't have enough to share, we don't allow the exchange. It is knowing yourself, your feelings that allows control of this gift. We get so lost in our minds, in our panic and rush that these energetic laws will happen and we won't be aware. We are playing in fields of energy every moment. It is fun and fascinating when you have awareness. I inspire you to know yourself better, then you won't have so much confusion of this world of your emotional nature and energy flowing.
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Lyn Hicks’ passion is to awaken others to their true joy through play and relaxation! Mentor, Teacher and Writer on The Feminine Way of living!
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