 With the world in such influx, simplify seems the best route to take. I have always enjoyed many projects and different venues of expression. As I ground in here in NC, I find I am closing out many chapters that were so me. They are still part of me and my core, but I am staying in one lane these days professionally. I will still do my coaching when it comes up, woman's circles and the delights I love but they are no longer open windows.
I must say there is a grief as I close down certain avenues of expression as they are my soul callings. Yet as I go deeper into embodiment, deeper into a lovely life, they are more hobby fun. All the principles I learned about sacred femininity come down to living in the body. My body doesn't like a lot of windows open as my mind does. It gets exhausted going from this to that in too much span across projects. To have a magical life, I need open space to flow into what the day wants to bring rather than the many things I always did. I love all my projects, my writing, my sharing. I will continue but on a simpler form. It is funny as the world gets more chaotic, I realize that I need to be less chaotic. I need to have clearer focus and be doing one thing at a time in full presence. I think that was always what we were to do but to align all your pieces means that you need space in between things to check in and align. When there is a plethora of obligations or projects, the space to feel narrows and less relax and enjoy happens. I am sure I am not alone in this mission. I imagine many are simplifying with the larger field effecting us in its intense chaos. I want to really enjoy each day, really embody that magical life of flow and fun. The more chores I have the less flow I get. The more filled up life is, the less spontaneity can happen. The crazier the world is, the less crazy I want to be. Anyone who is sensitive is probably on this same path. Some can do and do and do. I am not that person. It is exhausts me not to have free space between things. It is actually overwhelming. So I make the choice for me. I am that bright spirit who loves things esoteric. It is always part of my life. I just will participate and contribute more than lead. We have so many leaders and the world of woowoo has grounded with the world of science. I don't need to hold the space of that any longer. I can join communities rather than create them. It is freeing for creating them is a lot of work, at least it was. Now the next crew of leaders is being born and I can just engage in their work and as I said contribute all I know without carrying it all. I simplified life into a small cottage that is so perfect for me in the mountains. I don't have all the things I had on a large flower farm anymore. I simplified to just sharing on water quality for I think it is the key to health, beauty and flow. I now have more time to meet people, engage, enjoy the mountains and really savor my life. My hours aren't all filled up. I can even write when inspired. Not as a job but because I want to and it settles me. I am not sure where the world will go and I can only add health, beauty and kindness to it. I think feeling spacious, strong and stable are what we all are seeking now as the world shifts of it's own. I inspire you too to find greater simplicity in life. The pace has picked up so much and we were riding with it but it will not work to be so fast in the long run. It is the mental problems many have, the fight or flight stress many live with and the body just can't keep up. We get to choose our values, our pace, our joys and let the rest go. To simply live a life of joy is the goal. Vitality is not in how many things we do but in how good we feel in doing them. These years have been full of surprises. The control we have is within our small worlds so make it work for you. Flow is energy filling you in a constant stream at less speed. It has more adaptability and less rigid structure. Simplicity supports that. Blessings for a flowing spring!
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 As I enjoy doing some work in Durham, I am reading a book called Anam Cara. It means "soul friend' in Celtic and they take it to many levels inward and out. I highly recommend if you like philosophy. It was given to me by a friend and for the snow storm, I brought it to read. I am thankful for its insights. One recent one was the word belonging. It shifted the word to "be your longing". That transformed me in that moment.
I went outside to catch some sun and let that resonate inside. Be-your-longing. I thought, what are my longings. The usual ones of being helpful, loving, caring, sharing, thriving, impacting and known came in quickly. Others surfaced after some time. It was a good little exercise that I had to write and share some of this shift in considering what it is to belong. In a new area, it is the beginning of the connection to life here. In being those things, the longing is met. The desire to belong is met. The direction it gave me was quite fascinating viscerally. I loved the be part too. It is an active roll to be part. Not in a doing mode but in an experience or offering mode. So often we consider belonging to a group, or a family as something that we must do. Be your longing had more of a magnetizing quality to it and a state that was very different than I originally considered. Being my longing to connect is so directional to me. Connecting with all things not just people or groups. Be my longing to live connected to nature, to the larger field or to a purpose. It is not just a group, it widened to a larger picture of unity. Be my longing to love as a state of experience. Be love and allow the wonder to show up. Not something I do but a field of life I emanate. It has such a different direction to me. Be the longing to thrive. A forward motion that pulls rather than I push. A state of all things work rather than making it happen. Thriving becomes a state that doesn't depend on the circumstances. It is making lemonade out of lemons as much as great success to a project. Be my longing to share and impact. Knowing you already make a difference and add to people and places without exactly knowing why or what. It is a different kind of end goal that you leave open when you become your longing. It is already there first and then how it all plays out is not really a matter or question. It just is that you do add and participate and what occurs has openness and breath or space. It takes you from doing to being what it is you long for allowing an openness to drawn in its meaning. Maybe later you understand or maybe you don't ever have an understanding but you accomplish just by being in the state of sharing. There are many longings I went through. Partnership. Rather than look for partners, to be a partner to life. Letting whatever others come in to work or play with. It takes away the seeking end and gives a directional positioning. It is like putting a vibe in the field and seeing how that vibe works back to you. Very different than how I saw things before. Also very different to how I saw longing. I guess longing was like a seeking or a desire to be fulfilled. Yet, if you are your longing, then it is fulfilled and then how shows up is not really your concern. If I am my longing for love, I just be love to myself, others, the world and then it is filled. Without how or why or what, I just am that longing. I see how then that longing is fulfilled in the moment and then many magical moments can come in on the field. The opposite of how I saw the word or the way I did things. It is like the line we say in my minister group, Barush Bashan, the blessings already are. When you move to the blessings already are, they then appear. If you are looking for a blessing, it could come or not. And if you consider they already are, then the blessings show themselves. Maybe this too will shift your world of belonging as it has mine. Give you solid ground to stand on before you move. In being the longing, it is already complete. In that completion, so much can show up. It is like a new lens of the world from the being versus the doing. Not that you don't do, but that you do from the being of what it is your are doing for. Very magical point of view today. Be Your Longing and see what occurs. It feels less pressure, less confused, less figure it out. Far more alluring to the wonder of the world to come sit with you without you going out to find it! Nice in a chaotic world.  So I am learning of this feminine flow that we have heard of so long. Ideas take time to form and to emanate. It is so funny I am in the water business for I always felt on the physical level, when I got that we were 75% water, a light bulb went off. We are more like jelly fish with fascia holding us together. Emotions lie in the fascia which seems like a gel like water state that kind of holds our body together like a glue.
When you consider this more deeply, Dr. Emoto's studies shows that water crystalizes shapes by the emotions put toward it....... Really see that and consider it. So inside our body, this same gel crystal thing is happening in suspended substance of this gel, water, fascia combo holding our body together with the muscles and bones. So if I have pure water I drink, cook and shower in, then my water inside will have less mess to clear out. It will be easier for my body to do its functions which really is just digestion or chemical reactions to produce energy. If there is toxins inside our water, our body has to do something with those as it uses water as the communicator, transformer, carrier, toxin clearer and nourisher all at once. So I get the plain physical benefit of clean water and health of ourselves is clearly affected by the quality of water we input. I also get that when the water is in charged small units with available hydrogen, #1 antioxidant, it will pull out free radicals . Free radicals are seeking a free -1 electron that hydrogen water flows into you. That is why I use an ionizer for health. The water structure is easier for the body. In nature water is found this way, like a hydrogen mist at the bottom of water falls or the spray of the ocean. The healing waters like Lourdes and any where that water is literally flowing across the rocks or smashing down, it is like lightening or electricity that breaks the water bonds to create the healing hydrogen electron mist. That is how I easily understand why clean water is important for us in our homes and why hydrogen water is so healthy for our body in this toxic world. Take it another layer for the ionizer gives you the safest sanitizer germ killer there is, Hypochlorous Acid, electric salt water. Consider tears, they too are like electric (charged from emotion) salt water. How did us ladies not know this was 100X more effective than bleach? We are buying all these toxic scented substances to clean around our water body and we have another option. Once you get the toxins out of your home, consciously, cleaners, personal care products filled with endocrine disruptors, your body actually comes online differently. It can feel and regulate hormones better. It is being flushed of food toxins easier and can run in greater health without all the toxins everywhere. It made sense to my health understanding. This understanding is why I am sharing water system. Quality water first, then hydrogen water to detox with each sip. We all are moving toward the house detox already with less chemicals or less danger. But water is no danger to our system. In fact our body uses that state of water at different points of our system already to kill or digest or fever up. Now we get to the part I wanted to really share. For being on this journey of water health, selling the machines, living cleaner, not so many hormone disruptors and if they come in, my body is nourished most easily by quality water. Back to Dr. Emoto. On the emotional level, we can see how fear and emotions are in the gel or crystal water phase in our body. So when they say we hold emotions or that our body holds trauma in its cells, you can see them as stuck in the fascia water web in your body. You can get that water holds things in place, it offers a field of communication through the body and electricity runs through all this giving messages. Hard areas or stagnant cut off flows will create messes, pockets disconnected, no flow. Illness starts to build in here. Our body gets hard, less supple. Then we are dehydrated and it becomes more sticky and less fluid. Make sense? Again consider tears and crying. You actually release charges through the salt water of emotions. These cleanse us like hypochlorous acid. They are our natural purifiers. Gosh how often do we hold in those tears and they can't cleanse out the emotions. Pretty wild. At that level of understanding, WOW, water is pretty important part of us. We haven't even gotten to the mind level or how the brain is 73% water! We can understand the way water operates in our body as it operates outside the body. Thus why they call it flowing. Things move in waves, in circles out, in spirals, not linearly, like the ocean flowing, ebbing, pulsing. We think things move in lines but water shows us that is not true. On a planet of over 75% water in a body of over 75% water, it tells us more how we move and operate. It is how we embrace that emotional nature not as a problem but as a way to operate in the world. Waves come. Energy flows all around. You sense them, You coil ,you expand, it is a wave, watery filled really and we are bracing at it so flow is really just a concept. Can see how illness can fester as pain, as stagnation in the body? See when we brace, flow is not possible. If you can get lower in your body, from your pelvic bowl as your center of gravity, you can then begin to feel this flow. In the mind you are disconnected from it for it is in the body. You literally have to be fully in the body grounded down so you can fully understand how the wave flows. It can't be done in the head which is what we all have been doing a while. When you are anchored in your pelvic bowl, you can suddenly feel flow of the world. energy, water all of this. I am just feeling, sensing, fully understanding this and water is the teacher, how it moves. Try it. Feminine flow is like water. Water is like riding something. It is already moving. So there is less effort when you work with the mechanics of it. You must be down in the body and that is what I always missed. So water is just so important to us as beings on earth. This is where I am in my study of the elixir par excellent. It is really a state we are just becoming aware of and the world moves in such a different way. It is not the angles of mind like triangles. It is the triangles all building a helix together, a vortex, a fibonacci sequence, it is non linear. It is geometry connected in a chain of movement. Maybe I am getting too deep but I want to energetically convey this flow, this water, this movement, this knowing to come back on line inside you. Water nourishes purifies, flows, cleanses, clears, connects, In this 5 year study of water and using the best options, it has really effected me and I feel now I am getting more fluid in my physical nature because I am using it not only physically but as flow, feminine flow. It is slower. Water is slower than mind and thought. Of course the embodiment of the divine feminine coming on line too so it is all connected. They say the emotions are like water and I think again of the fascia stuck and memories locked and water, which is awareness and communication, it all seems really important to health and beauty. Think of it. Communication when it is good, flows like water. It is a dance of sound, energy, back and forth, that is how flow works, fluid and like water. Do you feel what I am saying? Feeling the key word ,for you can only really feel when you're in your pelvic body fully, .....anchored. Honestly, this is the most profound health and wellness, vitality and beauty tip I have. Quality water! It is simple but all these changes come into the body. Naturally, easily, clear and purifying. It is the foundation of this next phase of humanity being in the body, balancing the feminine flow with the production . A fluid dance. Very fascinating and beautifying. Reorganizes how you think of water?! Flowing forward.  It was over 13 years ago that the feminine way of being came across my radar. I had a Vibrant Living Festival at my farm and those whom ran it asked me to have their teachers come and do retreats. It sounded fun and little did I know it would put me on a long journey to understand feminine flow. I heard the words. I wrote a book. I taught woman's circles. I hosted retreats at the farm for others and then ran many of my own. It is funny for now I am learning a deeper layer of it.
It was not me or my slow understanding, it is the structure of our world for us woman to follow masculine principles. We can hear the feminine way but something just doesn't register for all the world is in production and the safety seems to come from that. We are all mostly in survival on some level. Wanting to prove, perform, devote and serve. Even the words can only register in our minds for we have disconnected so long from our body and our sensing. Our openness to see what is alive in the field rather than what our mind wants us to create. It is kind of subtle yet not really grounded. No one showed us the gifts of femininity. There are not many models and we certainly aren't trained to use these wise gifts. They say it is the rise of the divine feminine and I have heard it for years. I have heralded it and desired it and yet I still am learning for it is a presence in the body, an embodiment that we are all now moving into. It sounds so lovely when you hear the words, receptive, nourishing, creative, open, sensing. intuition. It resonates in our heart but we do not really know what it means for it is not a mental behavior, it is an embodiment. Where our body leads us and we are just not taught this or sure what that means. We are under such pressure to live as men do and in a world that is built on production and doing not sensing what is next. Production is part of the feminine but it is done differently. So here I am 14 years in and yet another aha moment comes. The basis of this feminine flow is an actual inward safety. Without this safety inside, a knowing that all is well and a sovereign sense that the world is working with you and you are safe, you can't embody it. I know this so well as I have lived in that inward survival that I was not safe without doing, serving, adding into, producing. I have come at the world in an inward panic truly that will only bring about the things I am concerned about. Basic survival really and so many woman live in this. How could we not be? Men may too but I am a woman and can only share from that lens of experience. If we are not taught or experienced that the world is working with us and for us, how could we feel safe. We must do or we will not survive. It sounds practical and correct. Yet that is not really what feminine flow is about. I can only flow in this way if I have an inward knowing that I am safe not matter what. We all have been trained in this unsafety and indeed it is in our cells. We haven't been safe in many ways so it activates our masculine energy to prove, do, achieve so we can feel safe. It is an outward way that may work for men but it won't for woman. Perhaps I had to lose all my roles to really see this in a way of trust in embodiment. My whole life I lived in a bit of anxiety, panic, worry for survival on a very hidden level. Performing, offering to have value, melding into what was necessary to have peace and survive on some level. What a scary way to live but I have done it most fully. In losing all my roles slowly, from divorce, from jobs ending. from ending my mother guidance role, from leaving the community I grew up in, from moving to a new place where I don't really know where I am, I am seeing the connection to my body and sensing. No longer able to live in a survival world where it will kill us and our body, I finally see how it all works. Funny and ironic. The journey to feminine flow truly. Blessed with so much wisdom of so many systems and the wonder of age and experience I can see how I am done all the opposite things that wind my body into tension and even glaucoma! Wow! What a revelation that I am creating my own form of stress and chaos and non survival by my own beliefs and doing of misunderstanding how it all works here. I know I am not alone in this for we all were trained this way. We are all seeing that the world is not as we were taught. All the things we trusted, all the processes we did, all the systems we thought were designed to support us are not real. They are not here for us, they are set up for the few to thrive and the many to not. As I go through this revelation, I see we are going from the perspective of the outside gets us safety, goods, objects that will let us relax. But it doesn't really. Those with tons are in the worry to lose it as those without wonder if they will ever get it. Moving to a world where we create these things inside and then the outer changes. That is why the divine feminine is rising. This pole of aliveness has a knowing of her creation, her connection, her support of the world, her precision and sensing knows how to work in this world. It is a remembering. It is the inside out approach that we all talk about but don't quite know how to do. No one has shown us or been doing it. So of course this is a new way of creation yet it is the way the whole world creates at least nature. I write for myself when I want to really know I got a principle, learning, revelation. It is my way to reflect through words what I know within. So that is what this is. Finally, I am understanding this feminine flow as a total opposite to how I lived. It is within me now, as a visceral feeling and it requires a full trust in the world. That the world, all creatures, all things, all happenings are working for my becoming. A feeling that I am safe just how I am and I receive just because I am here. Not for performance, action, or doing. It is like I am the flower that receives the sun because I do. It doesn't need to do anything and the sun doesn't say oh I won't give you light if you don't do this. Only these flowers get sunlight and not you. All things receive the sun and the nutrients from the ground just because they exist. All life supports you because you are alive. Not because you did something. This is a huge shift in grounding and feeling safe and supported inwardly beyond anything I ever felt. The words might sound like something you heard but I now embody and remember this inside me fully. It lets out an exhale. An exhaustion. An expectation. A smile. I can relax fully and let things unwind. It is new to me and so many others for this is what our time is about. It is coming from the space of safety, of I am here so I am supported by all or the sun if that makes it simpler. As I sit in this new found flow, I realize my system, my body, my layers are so taunt from all the years of proving. This is all a subtle, nuance of really knowing your body, mind, emotions and spirit that I am talking about. It is not really conscious, it is in the deeper parts that motivate us to move. Moving to participate, to produce, to survive, to serve or to be liked, to be this or that. The feminine flow comes from something deeper that is more a watching, an observation of things, an intuition, a body signal to move that feels light and curious not a mind produced idea. It is such a profound shift that I am still in the uncoil of all the years of coil. It is like a reversal in how I lived. Insane really. To start with I am safe all the way through my whole being and then in that safety, true safety, what wants to form? It is not loud or action like we've known. It is slower, like a rhythm and trust and it is not all action all the time. It is a more flow. We have to give ourselves permission to listen, which means more stillness and slower pace. We listen more. We receive ideas and intuitions. We nourish ourselves first so we feel open, safe, managed and full. These are true energetics not just a massage once a month. A way of living from presence. Allowing the world to meet us halfway, to show us the next steps and to observe and then move or listen and then move. So opposite us pushing our way to what we want. I imagine that is why it has taken me so long to get to this visceral safety. It is a surrendering to the flow of life and jumping into it as part, not a separate entity trying to get what it needs by pushing, proving, producing as if I don't I will not make it. Such a scary underneath motive that so many of us live by and don't even know it. Crazy stuff really. Gladly, we are shifting from identity to essence and presence. From mission to resonance. Service to coherence. Doing to sensing. Clarity to listening. Effort to flow. Holding others to holding ourselves. Roles to being. Striving to emanating. Completely different than how I have ridden in the world. But to me as a woman, those words, the feelings they conjure, the field I sense is so nourishing. That is what I am remembering. This is how the world works, not how I was taught. Maybe you catch some of this, maybe not. It is just my ramblings as I learn the Art of Being a Woman as my book was all about this. I caught it then in a way that worked in the structure of a family and in the role as wife and mother. Now, without roles, it is the same thing but deeper inside I embody it. It is that time. The time to honor that we are in a body so precious, that is gets to experience this place as our spirit sinks in further and will create from the inward center not the mind conceived ideas only. Reading the field, feeling the field, knowing we are one in the same with it, not separate or cut off. It is a delicious time. I am thankful for this learning as It is unwinding years of stress tightness, constriction and misunderstanding of how to flow. I am enthused for this next leg more than ever. Knowing I get to flow, I get to pace my own rhythm, I get to see what the world offers me when I trust I am working with the field in collaboration not direction alone. I imagine I will anti-age pretty fast and with water as my guide of this feminine flow, I couldn't be in a better position. To share my ideas, maybe but to share clean, crisp, water of resonance, purification, nourishment, flow, that is sharing what I am learning. Life is fun and magic that way. I am exactly where I belong. The blessings already are!  Congratulations to my lovely daughter for she was married this weekend!!! Exciting but I was not there or anyone for she got married in England. Short notice and a tricky world. It is heartbreaking not to have been there but our children do what they do. And they are allowed to be who it is they came to be. I just never imagined it would entail this distance and diversity. She was beautiful and looked happy. There is joy in my heart for her heart. In summer she will come and celebrate with family. I lost my role quite quickly as a mom guide to witness. Many go through this with their children and it is my turn.
So I am lost in space in many ways. I lost the close role with my daughter which I admit was a big part of my last 5 years of life. A podcast, our water business, our closeness, it is all shifted hugely. I can move on and indeed have to a new home in a new state. I am still in the reorder phase. It feels like eons but it is only my mind making it dramatic. I have wonderful things ahead and fun things becoming. For today, I feel lost . I feel like all roles have dropped. I think it is good, for we are an essence not our roles. We are educated we are those things so when they shift or change we get thrown. It is part of the process. We adapt, adjust and expand into new expressions. There is an in between. I am there. Much of the world is. The old world almost complete and gone, the new unformed. It is a big space as the empty canvas. It is the gestation that we go through on many levels through life, just never had one this big. I allow the lost in space feeling. It is where creation comes from. It still feels aimless and dark. I am releasing the low emotions inside. Giving them the cleansing moment to pass through. We must go through our emotions or we get ill. It is energy and we have stuffed so much down. There is good healing when you really feel them as the waves of energy they are and not get too caught up in the story of it. Things change. Things don't work out. Things are not what we want often yet life still has beauty, joy and love. Floating. floating, floating. The caldron of creation. I think the whole world is in this. It is a wonderful space. It just doesn't feel like it when you are in it. We want to move, produce, achieve, create. There are times in all ideas where you are in the void. The beginning. It is full of possibility. It is completely unformed. That really scares us or at least me. What really bubbles up and inspires me to move? Not what should I do or how should I create, it is now what opens me? What widens me? What wants to express now? It is also winter and the cycle of the year is perfect for the inward hang. Hanging in the creative openness with all possibility. Sometimes there seems to be too many ideas that I am overwhelmed or there is sadness and stillness. Really it is to get cleanly in the stillness. The zero point. Settle in there and listen. Then it bubbles up in its own time and how still you are. Patience and quiet. Something that weirds us out. But where creation and expression begins. From inward out. It is not the outside fills us as we thought. It is the inside decides and then it flows out and creation happens. Very wild space and yet so many in this very spot just with different circumstances. New ways are calling and old roles no longer supporting them. I feel the true feminine space of creation. A place where my roles don't exist or define me. I am not acting on devotion, service and duty. I am not really acting on anything but being me. Very different for woman as we are roles and many of them service and it feels good to us but it is not the true essence of us often. We go deeper to the expression of just us. Not our service. The deep void of creation bubbles up. Very interesting space. Age, experience, world changes, such an unexpected spot. The rebirth of ourselves after years of tending and nurturing. I write this for all others that may feel this space. It is not really lost but it feels like it. We have so many things shifting, energies of the sun flares, astrology that hasn't existed in hundreds of years and the age of aquarius as we all have heard is truly a shift bigger than our minds can understand. It is right and purposeful but it feels very odd. My inner knowing sees this as the void before the reforming. Things are cyclical and always changing. If you are here with me, know you are not alone. It is a good thing really we just like certainty and there really is none and may never have been but we thought there was. Exhale. Sit in the quiet. Allow the unwinding of old. Rest. Unlayer your mind and stories. Let is all go in a surrender that what was is not anymore. It is ok. New forms come in all the time and when we rest enough in this space, we will be reanimated by our very own essence into the perfect next step. Our world has not honored this void of creation and now it must. Old systems and structures on a personal and global level are falling down. It is quite unsettling. But we are here for a reason and our spirit of self has a purposeful space here in the collective. Allow that spark or voice a moment to speak and it will show you the next pieces. I know I have the outline to this next chapter. Let the details form not from forcing as we normally do but from them coming to you. I find I am learning yet deeper that all life supports us. We are not separate beings forging our way through by ourselves as we were trained. Pick a goal and push to it. Yes there was a time for that but it is ending. It is more like center in yourself and watch what is unfolding. Then jump in where it feels good, easy and fun. Like participating in a play versus being your own character all alone. The energy of life is filling us in a new way. We are becoming aware of the field of life we are part of not separate. It is sensual in a way I never felt. I am connected differently and energetically. We are coming into a new way that is not yet here but we feel the shift. It is a more collaborative view and energy that says you just need to watch and do your part. You are not carrying it all. You never were. You can relax, observe and watch how life meets you. It is a cocreation. it is not an individual build. We are finding this connected energy in a new way and learning how to work with it for it is the life energy we are. We just were cut off somehow or unknown to the connection of the field. Now we are learning and we will find our way in a much more grounded, less stressful way to create. I feel it. Exhale, observe, recharge, and then jump in where it feels good. Not hard, not pushing not forcing but join in the field. It is here and I too am learning it. I do know we are exactly where we are to be. So ride the flow. Wait for it as we often say. It is cocreation on a level we never did before. Blessings to us as we hang in this void for a moment!  Gosh what a journey life has been this past year. And it continues to morph beyond what we have known. I enthusiastically am settling in on many levels and I am sure others feel it too. Finally for the year, I have a new home and place to call my next chapter. From the planning to leave, the packing, the travel to find the next home, 5 months worth to now, in Alexander about 6 weeks and the exhale feels great.
I also feel the great learning we are all in. From that journey to the transformation with in that has occurred for us all. Today, I feel so much more hopeful and relaxed than in a long time. The energies feel good and really my inward view has shifted. So much of my life was built on solving, proving and pushing. Now, I feel like I don't have that as the unconscious reason for most everything I do. We all were raised to be useful, offer support and be needed. I came at life thinking if I am not useful, I am not seen. It has taken a bit to really get to the bottom of things. I am sure others have found some of their unconscious motivations too that no longer serve. In this whole journey, this transformation from Colorado to North Carolina, I learned that I really can make choices for myself in life and not depend on anything but what I want. This is new for me as many woman, we choose for our husbands, kids and others, family perhaps. I didn't really know what it meant to choose for me. In living where I do, I was the only one who had to feel good and notice how the land, the space, the place felt for just me. Not because I was close or needed or it was a good place for business or people. Just for me. This has been transforming. Watching how I engage, why I engage and what for has been interesting. The subconscious or unconscious running us and we don't know what these motives are. For love, for money, for accomplishment. None of these bad but to get to expressing just to be me and for no other reason has been enlightening. I felt if I wasn't useful, connection wouldn't last. So I pushed to be useful over just being myself. May sound small but it is a driving need that could often put me in crisis situation for I am useful there. I really have learned that my light energy, me in my playful spirit is already useful. That being myself is enough to draw in all I need. I never really understood that before. It may sound easy or simple if you already have learned this lesson but for me it has lightened my load tremendously. I feel so much lighter just knowing I don't have to offer support with teaching, words, deeds. Often just being somewhere in my true energy is enough. Gosh how uplifting is that. No longer choosing ideas by whether I add or clean up, or bring something or solve something. All those are good if it feels right but not as I better add or I am not really seen or acknowledged. This has been a good relaxing shift. I move slower, more aligned with how my body feels and how I feel. After a journey of many others and places, it is a welcoming relax. I can just be me, listen inward more and do what is called for by that. Not because it will bring me something. Because I can be me and that brings something already. I think many are catching a shift like this at this time. So I am really settling in! To myself, to my home, to my new area, to my own relaxing. So much less stress and moving from a more aligned internal dynamic than before. I love this time. I know the world is wacky but I really feel a big shift coming for us all that is good and will bring about a better world. Not that things won't be falling apart but there is a quiet underlaying of things coming together in perfect timing. Love to you all!  I don't know if anyone else feels this but I feel a surge of wonder! Despite what is occurring on all levels outside, I feel a lightness in the air and within. It is this wonder inside, or enthusiasm, or just playful energy is how I can describe it. Realizations, aha moments, shifts in perspectives are happening. It feels very fun!
It is fall so in the seasonal look, we are letting go of things that no longer serve. There is a great freedom in this natural fall off. It happens every year on many levels but this year it feels like we are really stepping into a level of creation that has not existed before. It is a thread of joy and becoming that vibes or hums underneath. I am experiencing this wonder and delight bubbling up. I know this is the month of gratitude as well so things feel cozier anyway. All these seasonal, weather cycles affect us and then there is something magical in the air too. Does anyone feel it? Hard to put into words and it is far more of a feeling than a logic or thinking. Joy is just bubbling around if you sense it. It is an inward mode, a trusting or a collaboration with life that I never felt before. Perhaps when control is no longer an option, this letting go gives us freedom to morph and shift in ways we never considered. The world is spinning and the normal ways don't work so we kind of throw in the towel and realize, I can make my small space safe and joyous only and then power rolls in. I admit I have a mystical spin on all of life so I look for the magical things around me. It is really a connect to nature for me that pulls this outlook into being. Nature flows through it all and there is a harmony floating around us. When I tap into that natural harmony, it brings in inside me and then I feel this different rhythm than life wants me to ride at. It is slower, more playful, more vivid, more open to possibility. It expands the mind or beyond the mind to a sensing that mind can't explain. To me this is the embodiment that we are sensing into. I have never before felt so inside me and in my body. I do practice the deep breathes between things, hydrate more consciously and intentionally placing qualities of harmony, abundance, health and beauty into my water. The mind is mercurial where as the body is much slower. To tune into its brilliance you must be in the slower place feeling the sensations and guidance. It is very different than how I was raised to process and be. As winter unfolds for us in the northern hemisphere, allow the slow, soothing pace to really sink into you. Consider your spirit is indwelling further than we have ever experienced. Notice how you are nature, belong to this world bodily. You are connected to the earth and the stars and are a current of energy running through it. When you realize this not just in your mind but also in your body, life becomes more alive. You get your grounding energy from the earth like you are a tree rooted in. You are receiving energy from the stars and cosmos, a current that animates you. These two are to be connected and flowing. As you become the vessel in between, you realize you belong here, you are safe and you are the energy that flows and you can direct it. This new embodiment is occurring and you can play in it. It feels like magical flow. We are that. When we find that zero point in the heart, the combo of those two fields of energies blend here and then you can command them out your hands in your works or expression. That is the fun of co-creation! Ooooolala! Life is morphing inside and how intriguing it will be when we can really understand this current and work with it! Reach out for support in flow, in water, in collaboration. Here we go!!  We all have different lessons to learn while we are here. One of my lessons is in belonging. Others may not have this lesson so I am writing for those who need to hear this. To feel like you don't belong is like being cut off from the field. You feel you have to do something to fit in, contribute, make impact. Not that these things are not valuable but to share or express so you can belong vs share and express because you have value are two different starting points.
If you ever felt you didn't belong, you may have this lesson. What come to me today was that we belong or we wouldn't be here. I already belong. I am here, alive, participating and part of the field so to speak. I don't need to earn anything, I am already here so I must belong here. Here doesn't even matter where that is, for you already belong. When you had the black sheep role or perceived that role, it was a feeling of not belonging. So you felt you had to morph or perform or shift yourself so you could belong. Then your actions were of proving your worth so you could feel you fit in. It is a subtle thinking. It is very nuanced. To fit in I must..... fill in the blank. What a survival position to begin from! Wow! It makes us have to perform for belonging rather than be and already belong because we are there. Maybe you can't resonate with this for you don't have this lesson. If it does, I hope you see this shift. If we don't feel we belong, we will morph ourselves into what we think will belong. That is a lot of work to be the round peg in a square hole. Instead we could think I am here so I must belong so what can I add or express coming from I belong here? Not I don't belong and I better do this or that to belong and then add. That is a lot of steps! It requires reading the field, knowing what is appropriate, finding a way to do something that adds value and be part of it. If you decide you belong already and you are there for a reason, you already have value then offer something, you are coming from a place of authenticity and value. It is a simple shift and it can change everything. I belong by just already being here. I am connected to all that is because I am here. No proving, nor fitting in, just because I am here. I think our training has been that we better add value or we won't belong. How about we add value just by being? That washes so many patterns away. Your field begins with an inclusive sense rather than an outsider sense. The inspiration to do comes from a whole different place. For many of us that are empaths or different than others in what ever way, as we all have our own different ways, we have misread the reason for this. It is to bring that different way, that different perspective to the table not to change ourselves to fit in. Whatever our thing that makes us feel like we don't belong is not real. It is some child like training you got that said be like this or you will be cast out or you won't be loved. It is a child like perception. Maybe the world you landed in, you were different and you're there to bring in that difference rather than hide it through conforming. When you were little you just thought I will model what I perceive as the way to be so I can survive. You misunderstood. Now, as I sit in a new place and new everything, if I ask where I belong I will be motivated to find places that I think I belong in. If I say I am here now, I belong already for I am here now, what comes forward to do? It is subtle but it is very different energy that moves at a different pace and from a different startng point. I have built communities, created friends all looking to belong. Instead, I could just consider I belong and then see what shows up rather than seeking belonging. In seeking belonging, I come from the I don't belong yet so I have to find where I belong. Instead I belong, I add value already, where does that go? It is participating in all around me from a very different point of view. I will see what it brings. I belong here in the mountains of NC because I am here. So what stirs next? A very different question than where do I belong? Belonging is so huge in life. It is the juice of living. To feel recognized, seen, helpful, participating, it is a genuinely a wonder of being human. It is already here for we are here. We belong because we exist. We don't really have to seek that. As I say I am here, I belong here so what do I want to do now? It comes from a whole different energy than seeking to belong. Do you see and feel that? It allows us to express, to participate in belonging than to look for belonging. This is a huge shift for me to see this subtly in my thinking. It transforms how I expand here where I belong in NC. I don't look for belonging. I look to express my belonging or because I belong. I get to exhale. I belong so how do I want to express here? There is no urgency or need anymore. There is a restful moment of grace and then allowing the answer to "how do I want to participate that is me adding me because I belong." Life is filled with these simple ideas that take time to really see the network of weird ideas we gathered as children and were trained to believe for survival. As a child, if you are not approved of, you will not get cared for or only partially loved. We saw through these survival eyes how to be. It is not the truth of it here. We were born so we belong. How and where we belong changes when we stop seeking to belong. Shifting ourselves to different groups and ideas so we fit in is not necessary. If we do that, we don't really fit in for we are not really being us. And a part of us knows that so it creates not belonging for your are shifting to belong so you don't belong there for your reasoning is off. The not belonging is showing us our reasoning, not that we don't belong. Life is trippy. I am always learning more about how to ride this wonderful experience of life. Same days I get it, other days I am so innocently unaware of it. As we grow, we can unlock these silly ideas we have and change them to more accurate information about what is going on. For me today, it is about belonging, which is really got proving in it, and doing so your are seen or known or add something. What if my presence here without saying a word or doing an act is enough? Just being somewhere is enough to say I belong and I am participating. For me this is a big "AHA". I already belong here. Now where would it be fun to add value? Where would it be fun to just be? Where do I feel most comfortable being me? Allowing this to sink in and see what comes forward from this angle vs where do I belong? How can I experience life from this perspective rather than the old one? I already belong. I am adding to the world just by being. I already effect things. I don't have to do anything more. If I get inspired I could do that but if I am not in this moment, just being is enough for all things to flow anyway. I will keep you posted on this revelation. It is very different than I saw before and the desire to belong. That desire is now fulfilled. I do belong. We will see what happens next!  We all have been in waiting, whether now or at another time in life. Waiting for something along the way. Often the fall, a letting go allows us to empty and there is a void in between the old leaving and the new being seen. As I am in a new home here in a new place, I am integrating in a new community. It takes time to mingle in the right places, find the things that resonate, interact in a new world in a way that supports me.
While there is many ways I can jump in, there is also a waiting for the things that will really inspire me. We are taught to act in full flow which is not always the right action or use of energy. We only have so much energy and we know focused intention has the most power. I look, listen and allow myself to digest all the noise to see exactly where to put my energy that will benefit me and others. It is a bit different than go everywhere, be everywhere to build. Maybe at one point in life that was the way of being. Right now, waiting, watching and seeing where I want to be is more powerful. When the world is so loud as now, listening can be the best ally. You can't rush the flower to bloom. I learned that in my flower farming days. It is up to the plant, the conditions, the way of nature. We are part of that very process ourselves and the waiting can be alittle scary or feels like there is no movement. We forget that movement happens as well in stillness and incubation. It doesn't look like it on the outside but as the seed grows under the soil, life has moments of that too. When we don't know what to do, we often rush into action for we are taught action brings results. Sitting in the waiting, holding our trust as what we intend has time to unfold, can bring powerful results as well and we use our energy wisely. I am learning how to do this in life more fully. I love to act, get involved and see results. I can also burnout through this strategy. I have been traveling quite a few months and now that I landed, I sense the quiet and stillness are often the way of action. I am creating a life and rhythm that really feels good and inspires me. In a new place, at a new moment in life, the waiting and stillness is part of knowing what is next. The quiet listen. At times it feels good. At others, I feel the get going mind to come in. I exhale it out knowing the idea is put forth, the trust is often the waiting and the world accepts that offering and takes time to bring in the form. It is like sitting at the ocean. In comes the tide, it comes forward, then slowly ebbs back, holds for a minute and then the next wave comes in . This is the natural cycle of energy. I am observing this tide has flowed out and in that holding, we all experience as the next cycle of water will come. This is where trusting all of life is becoming, you too is the way. Trusting in the uncertainty as our world is a bit in upheaval, knowing the solutions come in their own timing. We are not in control of it all, only ourselves and our part. That has a cycle also and it is ok to hold in the uncertainty. Something the mind is not so comfortable with. It is in these moments of waiting for the next cycle to turn, that savor, rest, stillness, renewal is the solution. Fill up with the good that is here, the good that has happened, the good that will show up. It is quiet and peaceful if we can let the mind do its thing without our listening. Like a background noise that is just used to running things. Our heart has the answers as well and it is a time to listen to that when we are waiting. The channel from head to heart take a moment to align and connect. It is when you love on yourself, do the gestures that renew and dream the goodness you wish to see. It is a time to honor all you have done, appreciate yourself and feel the goodness down to your toes. There is a harmony and rhythm to all creation and I am finding, if I allow myself to slow down and align with it, I get more filled and nourished. Especially when I don't know for sure how to move next. Often maybe the next move is to sit, savor, reflect and just enjoy the beautiful color of nature all around me. Savor your harvest. Enjoy all you brought forward this year during this harvest season. It is ok to slow down and renew. Despite my mind wanting to move and solve, I am riding the larger rhythm of the world, of my heart and of my body allowing a little rest. Part of me wants to do but the body knows how to use energy. Listening to it and using the your energy wisely is a skill I am mastering. It is important for health, wealth on all levels and true happiness. We have cycles and as I am learning to ride it more deeply and joyfully, we will see our next turn. It will show up and then we have full on power to act in focus and joy. Love to you all and enjoy the savoring magic and beauty of autumn! Slow down and listen. Who knows what possibilities and joy is in store. The mystery can be fun like looking at the night sky. It expands, you can't see it all, it sparkles and glows and you just savor knowing the next morning will come.  Here we are to one of the most spectacularly beautiful times of year. It inspires clearing as the leaves change and fall, slower paces as the dark descends, fun outdoor harvest events, the celebration of the a year of planting. We all feel the call to slow down and enjoy the beauty. I have found as I am at the start of the leaf change in NC, a stillness inside that is expanding.
Most of us do not invite the stillness. We are so trained on production and activity that stillness is like sleeping. What I am finding as I flow with the presence and the seasons, a slow pace through the whole year is far more healthy. I can go and go and then drop from burnout. It has been a pattern my whole life. As I spiral my learning of this, I am seeing how it is far wiser and more efficient to be at a slower pace that sustains differently. Truly the breath, our leader and indicator of the rhythm that will support us well. We all know the natural cleansing of this time of year as we head into the inward winter cycle. It feels good to lighten up, clear out, purge and slow down. It still amazes me that from all the learning on healing and health, water and breath are the two most important simple solutions to rhythm and flow. It is right under our nose, I have studied many systems and to realize in all of it, hydrate and breathe consciously bring the best pace and health. I inspire you in this magical pumpkin time of year, to visit how you use both in your life. Our pace is so hurried and the level of information we receive is overwhelming. When I watched kids in Colorado for a friend, what always got me was how the kids reacted after sustained computer activity. When they played games or were given computer time to play, it really was like taking a drug from an addict when they were done. They also expressed anger and frustration when time was up and really took a minute to reorient to playing outside or doing some other creativity. I don't know if we realize how much this techno world effects us. Not that it is bad but to see how balance and remembering to connect to the reality around us needs its space too. We are so tied to the technology and it often is dictating the pace. We all could be run by the outside that loudly grabs our attention. That is the mess of fight or flight. The intensity of we have to do and be alert and be ready. As I have taken this journey to find a new home, never was I in such uncertainty. My breath was my ally to remember and calm down. The water of hydrating and remembering to flow the other solid thing that kept me sane and in calm. We don't realize how much the air we take in and the water we drink are the rhythm that runs our body. So simple and so profound that in all the things we do daily, these two matter most to our pace and fluidity, adaptability. It is a power trait in these times. To be able to adjust and reorient so important. Even now on this Sunday morning, as the beautiful day unfolds, I feel the stillness of the mind so clear. It is something we all contend with, the mind chatter of what should be going on and the reality of what is. To let that stillness seep in so the mind can rest and our body can recalibrate to the slower way. It offers joy and clarity in action as well as calm in the being. I inspire you to play with these to ride in a pace that works better for your body. Gone are the days where we can ignore the body and its signals. We now how illness will speak loud after not listening to it. All these ideas really add up to pace and inward listening that we have not been trained to use. The exhale so powerful. The rest after it so full of contentment. The hold after the inhale of all the potentiality available before we exhale. These pauses in the breath cycle truly where the field of opportunity, creativity and possibility live. And I have missed it most of my life. So busy moving and breathing shallowly thinking I would miss something if I didn't rush. That life would pass me by. When really so much of the joy in life is in those moments of pause or savor of the wonder I am around. Whether a conversation that has no timing or a sunset that warms my whole being. These are the pauses that regulate and sustain us. Play with them and see if you find a different pace to address life. Yes your mind and patterns will kick in but see if you can override them into more peace and calm. I share as I learn what works for me. From the very beginning of learning the feminine arts, the oxybreath or breath of passion I learned always amazed me how I could shift into parasympathetic nervous system so easily and quickly. I could get the present chills in my body of oxytocin, all through a simple breath. It shocked me then the ease of it and still I find it the most basic tool that works the most for me. Noticing how I am in a state of movement or panic that feels not so good. A few simple breathes with the pleasure sound can reset me. Yes we all know and have heard. Are we using this as fully as we could to embody a magical life?! Enjoy the harvest season! Reach out if you need support to shift from anxiety to flowing in grace! |
Lyn HicksInspiring ways to love your life! Simple writings on how to see life in ways that bring joy, relaxation, oxytocin, health and vitality giggling through life! Archives
January 2026
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